—Surelie he will come soone?—I sayd to Father last Night, I wanted to hear from Home. He sayd, "Home! Dost call yon Taylor's Shop your Home?" soe ironicalle that I was shamed to say more.
Woulde that I had never married!—then coulde I enjoy my Childhoode's Home. Yet I knew not its Value before I quitted it, and had even a stupid Pleasure in anticipating another. Ah me! had I loved Mr. Milton more, perhaps I might better have endured the Taylor's Shop.
Sheepscote, Nov. 20, 1643.
Annoyed by Dick's Companions, I prayed Father to let me stay awhile with Rose; and gaining his Consent, came over here Yester-morn, without thinking it needfulle to send Notice, which was perhaps inconsiderate. But she received me with Kisses and Words of Tendernesse, though less Smiling than usualle, and eagerlie accepted mine offered Visitt. Then she ran off to find Roger, and I heard them talking earnestlie in a low Voice before they came in. His Face was grave, even stern, when he entred, but he held out his Hand, and sayd, "Mistress Milton, you are welcome! how is it with you? and how was Mr. Milton when he wrote to you last?" I answered brieflie, he was well: then came a Silence, and then Rose took me to my Chamber, which was sweet with Lavender, and its hangings of the whitest. It reminded me too much of my first Week of Marriage, soe I resolved to think not at all lest I shoulde be bad Companie, but cheer up and be gay. Soe I askt Rose a thousand Questions about her Dairie and Bees, laught much at Dinner, and told Mr. Agnew sundrie of the merrie Sayings of Dick and his Oxford Friends. And, for my Reward, when we were afterwards apart, I heard him tell Rose (by Reason of the Walls being thin) that however she might regard me for old Affection's sake, he thought he had never knowne soe unpromising a character. This made me dulle enoughe all the rest of the Evening, and repent having come to Sheepscote: however, he liked me the better for being quiete: and Rose, being equallie chekt, we sewed in Silence while he read to us the first Division of Spencer's Legend of Holinesse, about Una and the Knight, and how they got sundered. This led to much serious, yet not unpleasing, Discourse, which lasted till Supper. For the first Time at Sheepscote, I coulde not eat, which Mr. Agnew observing, prest me to take Wine, and Rose woulde start up to fetch some of her Preserves; but I chekt her with a Motion, not being quite able to speak; for their being soe kind made the Teares ready to starte, I knew not why.
Family Prayers, after Supper, rather too long; yet though I coulde not keep up my Attention, they seemed to spread a Calm and a Peace alle about, that extended even to me; and though, after I had undressed, I sat a long while in a Maze, and bethought me how piteous a Creature I was, yet, once layed down, I never sank into deeper, more composing Sleep.
Nov. 21,1643.
This Morning, Rose exclaimed, "Dear Roger! onlie think! Moll has begun to learn Latin since she returned to Forest Hill, thinking to surprise Mr. Milton when they meet." "She will not onlie surprise but please him," returned dear Roger, taking my Hand very kindlie; "I can onlie say, I hope they will meet long before she can read his Poemata, unless she learnes much faster than most People." I replyed, I learned very slowly, and wearied Robin's Patience; on which Rose, kissing me, cried, "You will never wearie mine; soe, if you please, deare Moll, we will goe to our Lessons here everie Morning; and it may be that I shall get you through the Grammar faster than Robin can. If we come to anie Difficultie we shall refer it to Roger."
Now, Mr. Agnew's Looks exprest such Pleasure with both, that it were difficult to tell which felt the most elated; soe calling me deare Moll (he hath hitherto Mistress Miltoned me ever since I sett Foot in his House), he sayed he would not interrupt our Studdies, though he should be within Call, and soe left us. I had not felt soe happy since Father's Birthday; and, though Rose kept me close to my Book for two Hours, I found her a far less irksome Tutor than deare Robin. Then she went away, singing, to make Roger's favourite Dish, and afterwards we took a brisk Walke, and came Home hungrie enoughe to Dinner.
There is a daily Beauty in Rose's Life, that I not onlie admire, but am readie to envy. Oh! if Milton lived but in the poorest House in the Countrie, methinks I coulde be very happy with him.
Bedtime.