I know not that I was ever more sorelie exercised than during the first Half of this Night. Robin, in his crazie Fit, would leave his Bed, and was soe strong as nearlie to master Nell and me, and I feared I must have called Richard. The next Minute he fell back as weak as a Child: we covered him up warm, and he was overtaken either with Stupor or Sleep. Earnestlie did I pray it might be the latter, and conduce to his healing. Afterwards, there being writing Implements at Hand, I wrote a Letter to Mr. Milton, which, though the Fancy of sending it soon died away, yet eased my Mind. When not in Prayer, I often find myself silently talking to him.
Wednesday.
Waking late after my scant Night's Rest, I found my Breakfaste neatlie layd out in the little Ante-chamber, to prevent the Fatigue of going down Stairs. A Handfulle of Autumn Flowers beside my Plate, left me in noe Doubt it was Rose's doing; and Mr. Agnew writing at the Window, tolde me he had persuaded my Father to goe to Shotover with Dick. Then laying aside his Pen, stept into the Sick-chamber for the latest News, which was good: and, sitting next me, talked of the Progress of Robin's Illness in a grave yet hopefulle Manner; leading, as he chieflie does, to high and unearthlie Sources of Consolation. He advised me to take a Turn in the fresh Ayr, though but as far as the two Junipers, before I entered Robin's Chamber, which, somewhat reluctantlie, I did; but the bright Daylight and warm Sun had no good Effect on my Spiritts: on the Contrarie, nothing in blythe Nature seeming in unison with my Sadnesse, Tears flowed without relieving me.
——What a solemne, pompous Prigge is this Doctor! He cries "humph!" and "aye!" and bites his Nails and screws his Lips together, but I don't believe he understands soe much of Physick, after alle, as Mr. Agnew.
Father came Home fulle of the Rebels' Doings, but as for me, I shoulde hear them thundering at our Gate with Apathie, except insofar as I feared their distressing Robin.
Audrey rode over with her Father, this Morn, to make Enquiries. She might have come sooner had she meant to be anie reall Use to a Family she has thought of entering. Had Rose come to our Help as late in the Day, we had been poorlie off.
Thursday.
May Heaven in its Mercy save us from the evil Consequence of this new Mischance!—Richard, jealous at being allowed so little Share in nursing Robin, whom he sayd he loved as well as anie did, would sit up with him last Night, along with Mother. Twice I heard him snoring, and stept in to prevail on him to change Places, but coulde not get him to stir. A third Time he fell asleep, and, it seems, Mother slept too; and Robin, in his Fever, got out of Bed and drank near a Quart of colde Water, waking Dick by setting down the Pitcher. Of course the Bustle soon reached my listening Ears. Dick, to do him Justice, was frightened enough, and stole away to his Bed without a Word of Defence; but poor Mother, who had been equallie off her Watch, made more Noise about it than was good for Robin; who, neverthelesse, we having warmlie covered up, burst into a profuse Heat, and fell into a sound Sleep, which hath now holden him manie Hours. Mr. Agnew augureth favourablie of his waking, but we await it in prayerfulle Anxietie.
——The Crisis is past! and the Doctor sayeth he alle along expected it last Night, which I cannot believe, but Father and Mother doe. At alle Events, praised be Heaven, there is now hope that deare Robin may recover. Rose and I have mingled Tears, Smiles, and Thankgivings; Mr. Agnew hath expressed Gratitude after a more collected Manner, and endeavoured to check the somewhat ill-governed Expression of Joy throughout the House; warning the Servants, but especiallie Dick and Harry, that Robin may yet have a Relapse.
With what Transport have I sat beside dear Robin's Bed, returning his fixed, earnest, thankfulle Gaze, and answering the feeble Pressure of his Hand!—Going into the Studdy just now, I found Father crying like a Child—the first Time I have known him give Way to Tears during Robin's Ilnesse. Mr. Agnew presentlie came in, and composed him better than I coulde.