"May there never be a worse Tale to tell of you," quod I. "How mean you?" quod he, bristling up. "Just what I say and no more," quod I; "my meaning is full simple, I think." "Like yourself, then," quod he; "I don't believe you could say Bo! to a Goose." "Nor Pruh! to a Cow, perhaps," quod I. "Lads! Lads! be quiet there!" cries Mistress Fraunces from the Parlour.
"What would be the Effect of that, though?" quod Miles, without minding her, as soon as he had done Coughing by reason of a Fish-bone that stuck in his Throat. "To set them scampering," quod I, "as I did one Day, into the midst of a Pleasure Party." "Ha, ha, ha!" cries he, "I'll try that in Trolop's Fields; there are Lots of Cows there, and Pleasure Parties too on Summer Evenings. Lovers and Loveresses, a eating of Curds and Whey!"
—"Really, Brother," saith Mistress Fraunces, the next Time my Master went into the Parlour,—for though her Voice was low and sweet, it was so distinct that oft-times I could not help hearing what she was saying,—"truly, Brother, those Boys of yours wrangle so when they're together, that it is Misery to hear them."
"Boys will be Boys," quod he, peaceifyingly, "I was one myself a long while ago. However, if they have said anything punishable, I must beat them; but, if not, put a little Cotton Wool into your Ears, Sister Fraunces."
"Nay," quod she, relenting, "there was nothing punishable in aught they said; and, as to getting them a Beating, they'll give each other enough of that, I'm thinking. 'Twas such give and take, snip and snap, parry and thrust, as that I could scarce forbear laughing."
"Don't stop your Ears with Cotton Wool, then," quod my Master cheerily, for a hearty Laugh is worth a Groat. "They'll have little Time for Fighting, this Morning, for I have Plenty for them to do."
Despite of this, however, Miles found Time for a little more "snip and snap," as Mistress Fraunces called it, before Dinner. Seeing me start forth on an Errand as he returned from one, he quietly saith in passing, "See how pretty he looks with his Cap on!" whereon it struck me that every 'Prentice Boy I had seen running about had gone bareheaded; and, smiling, I put my Cap in my Pocket.
In those Times, Hew, the Saturday Afternoon was somewhat between a Holiday and a holy Day. People went to Evening Service at three o'Clock, and, after that, there was no Business done, save in preparation for the Sabbath; and thoughtful People enjoyed an holy Pause, and young light Hearts took their Pastime.
Miles, with Mischief in his Eye, proposed to me a Row on the River, which I, nothing afeard, agreed to, for I had been in a Punt aforetime, if not in a Wherry. He refused the Aid of a Waterman, saying lightly, "This young Gentleman knows the Use of a Scull;" and, running hastily along the Boat to secure the Stroke-oar, his Foot tripped against a Thwart, and he lost his Balance and fell into the River. I guessed where he would come up, and, sitting on the further Gunnel to trim the Boat, held the Oar to him, and guided his Hand to the Side, which enabled him to scramble in. The Watermen, who had run down to us as soon as they saw him fall over, laughed when they saw him safe, and cheered me; and he, looking rather foolish, sayth, "Well, I told them thou knewest the Use of a Scull." I asked him which Way we should pull; howbeit, he was so drenched that he must needs go Home to change his Clothes, and bade me give the Waterman a Penny, saying he had not so much as a Genoa Halfpenny about him just then to buy a Custard at Mother Mampudding's. When he had changed his Under-garments, and hung his Gown at the Kitchen Fire, he amused himself by dropping Pellets from the Window on the People in the Boats that shot the Arch beneath; and Tib, with her Head stretched forth of the other Half of the Lattice, offered to Rehearse unto me the Name and Calling of every Dweller on the Bridge, from the Parson and Clerk at the one End, to the old Lady that lived all alone by herself with her Cats at the other. Howbeit, Miles, tiring of waiting for his Gown to dry, put on another, and bade me bear him Company to Finsbury Fields. But first he lay in Wait behind the Door, and then stole subtilly forth, like a Cat that had been stealing Cream; and on my asking him why, he laughed and said, only that Mistress Fraunces might not see him in his Sunday-gown of a Saturday, for that would be contrary to Rules and Regulations.
