J Jellicoe
Tryphena & Tryphosa
In the October of this Year, Sir John Gresham, Mercer, being chosen Mayor, his Company resolved to get up their famous Pageant of the Maiden Chariot; and having vainly cast about among their own Fraternity for a young Damsel sufficiently comely to be the Admiration of all the City, and likewise able and willing to play the Part of Chariot Maiden, they at length offered it to the youngest Daughter of Master Soper the Barbitonsor who lived on the Bridge. Now Master Soper had two Daughters, good and pretty Girls enow as Times went, Tryphena and Tryphosa by Name, fresh-coloured, sprightly, and much admired by the Bridge 'Prentices. These two Sisters were seldom apart, inasmuch as both their Heads might commonly be seen out of one upper Lattice, looking after every Thing that passed in the Strete; and 'twas in their Favour that they always seemed on the best of Terms with one another. But whether by Reason of any Unguent of Master Soper's, or mere Liberality of Nature, I wot not, the younger, who in no other Wise excelled her Sister, was notorious for the excessive Length and Thickness of her glossy flaxen Hair. And this being an indispensable Requisite for the Chariot Maiden, the Mercers without more Ado offered her the Part, which she with great Glee accepted. Now hereupon, I lament to say, ensewed great Disruption between the twain hitherto so harmonious; for Public Admiration of Beauty is as true a Test of what is the Nature of a Woman's Heart, as the black Marble the Goldsmiths call Touchstone is of their precious Metals. If her Head be not turned by it, good: if she can bear it bestowed upon another and o'erlooked in herself, why, good also,—she can stand the Touchstone: howbeit, all have not this Virtue. And, whereas Tryphosa was now so elate with thinking of her white satin Gown, her golden Sandals, her jewelled Crown, and her Feast in the Hall, as to suppose the Ground scarce good enow for her to tread upon, Tryphena was ready to burst with Envy of her Sister, and could scarce speak peaceably unto her. However, she came to her common Sense and good Feeling at last, and found her Account in playing Second; many good Things being in Store for both. A notable Thing was, that Master Soper's Shop was now literally besieged with Customers who wanted to have a Glimpse of the Chariot Maiden, insomuch that he said he never had had such a Trafficking for Pennyworths in any given Year, as he had in this Month of October; only the worst was that every Customer gave as much Trouble for a Penny as he should have done for a Shilling, and would hang about, keeping away fresh Comers, when his Purchase was made. While Tryphosa, who had never to this Time shewn any Symptoms of Shyness, now turned coy and kept herself close; now and then letting Tryphena flit through the Shop and be mistaken for her, after which the two would shut themselves up and go into Fits of Laughter. The Women all along the Bridge were out of Patience with her for what they would have it was simulated Bashfulness in one who meant to be stared at from Morn to Night on Lord Mayor's Day. And they satisfied themselves that she was shutting herself up for Fear of freckling or sunburning. As for Miles, who always loved to do like the rest, he was evermore running over to Master Soper to have his Hair cut, till at last it was hardly longer than the Nap of his Gown; and I almost think he would have submitted one of his good white Teeth to the Barber's Pincers, if he could have gained Admittance on no cheaper Terms; just to boast of it afterwards. At last, when the grand Day came, he and every 'Prentice on the Bridge mobbed the Barbitonsor's Door till Tryphosa was fetched away in a close Litter. Then there was a Rush to the Mercers' Hall, where Master Gresham, in his Scarlet and Gold, met his Livery in their new Gowns furred with Foins and Budge; and accompanied them, mounted, to Guildhall, where the late Mayor, Sheriffs, and Aldermen, met them on Horseback. Then they all took Barge to Westminster and back, to the Sound of Trumpets, Sackbuts, and Shawlms, and the firing of small Guns, and exploding of Crackers. On re-landing at Three Cranes' Wharf, they re-mounted, and proceeded to Paul's Churchyard, where they met the Pageant, consisting of an exceeding magnifical Chariot, twenty-two Feet high, of the Roman Build, entirely covered with silver embossed Work, having Tryphosa therein, set on high, in Jewels and spangled Satin; her fair flaxen Tresses dishevelled, a Sceptre in one Hand, a Shield in the other, with all the Glory and Majesty possible to imagine:—Fame, blowing of a Trumpet right over her Head, Wisdom, Modesty, and all the rest, including the nine Muses, each in their proper Places; Triumph, driving nine white Flanders Horses, three abreast; Grooms, Lictors, and Pages marching alongside the Equipage; and a Score of Salvages and Jacks-i'-the-Green, making diverting Remarks to all; and keeping the Crowd off with Squibs and Crackers.
Oh! was ever Woman exalted one Day so high (even to the first-floor Windows), to come down so low into the Retiredness of domestic Life the next! What was Cleopatra sailing down the Cydnus to this? Did Zenobia, did Semiramis ever have anything so fine in the Way of Triumph? Pish!—Moreover, there was a separate Table prepared for Tryphosa, who dined in State with her chosen Ladies, attended by Seneschals, Squires, and Pages, as if she had been a Queen. And had Swans' Pudding and Leche Lombard, I promise ye!
—But oh! poor Humanity.—'Twas noted at the Feast, more in special by some of the chosen Ladies that thought themselves set lower than they might have been,—that poor Tryphosa's Face was so tanned by Exposure all Day to Sun and Wind, as that my Lord Mayor's Gown was scarce more Scarlet. And by the Space of a Fortnight or so from that Hour, 'twas so blistered and scorched that she hated to be seen, and was obliged to blanch and mollify it with Buttermilk, Cream of Almonds, and I wot not what Female Recipes. Which was the more provoking, as some of the inferior Officers of the Company called, the Day after the Feast, to know how she fared, and she was constrained to leave their Entertainment to Tryphena. Miles, who had a Glimpse of her through an upper Casement, was so offended at her Aspect that he spent no more Pence at Master Soper's. And by the Fortnight's End, the Matter had ceased to be talked about, and the two Girls might be seen, sewing together, and keeping an Eye to the Bridge, as contentedly and harmoniously as ever.
During my Visit to my Mother, a new Inmate had been brought into the Family: to wit, a superior Kind of Maid for Mistress Anne, named Damaris, who had lived aforetime in the Household of Master Hewet's Brother in the Country. She was a Miracle of Composedness and discreet Demeanour, which gave her the Air of being somewhat older than she really was. Mistress Anne now spent the Chief of the Day with her in the Green Lattice, where Damaris kept herself much reserved, sewing fine Linen, and teaching her little Charge to read.
One Day, when I was moving some Laths and Cases that had stood against the Wall in Tomkins's Attick till they were begrimed with Dust, I was in Amaze to behold delineated on the White-wash with black Chalk, an exact Portraicture of Tomkins, stooping over his Work, with every Line and Furrow of his intent, earnest Visage accurately made out.
"What's this?" quod I.
Tomkins brake forth into Laughing. "I wist what you would come to," quod he, "when you set about moving those Laths. That's Master Hans Holbein's Handywork. He must needs befoul the Wall with his Scrawling, just after it had been fresh Lime-washed. I told him 'twas a Pity it had not been scrawled first, and limewashed afterwards. So, then, in his Despite, he scored it through with that Cross; and then I set the Lumber against it, and told him Nobody should see it again."