CHAPTER X
Evil Times bring Evil Crimes
I love not to think of that Year: still less of those which followed after it! In July, Philip of Spain landed on our Shores, and as he placed his Foot for the first Time on British Ground, he drew his Sword, and carried it a little Way naked in his Hand; which, if it meant Anything, certes did mean no Good. The Mayor of Southampton brought him the Keys of the Town, which he took and gave back without the least Token of Good-will or Civility for the Respect. Five Days thereafter, his Marriage with the Queen was solemnized at Winchester, he being seven and twenty, and she eight and thirty; and thereon they were together proclaimed as King and Queen of England. An Evil Song to English Ears! But oh! the Shews and Pageants that were got up to welcome them in London! Giants, offering Addresses; our Condyts running Wine; and what not?
Thereafter, the Queen and her King behoved to go to Hampton Court; where, I will just observe, the Hall-door was continually kept shut, so as no Man might enter, unless his Errand were first known; which might perhaps be the Fashion in Spain, but to plain, honest Englishmen, seemed very strange.
About this Time there were so many Spaniards in London, that for one Englishman in the Stretes thou mightest meet four Spaniards, with their long, sly Slits of Eyes, and hairy Faces; so that it behoved us to keep our Hall-doors shut and look to our Spoons, for I never heard the King Consort undertook to stand Bail for them. About September they went their Ways; not entirely paying their Bills.
About this Time, the Disaffection of the Body Politic was betrayed by a small Rising in Suffolk, soon put down. Howbeit, it gave Occasion for a Talk of twelve thousand Spaniards coming over to strengthen the Crown. Also, from the Queen's common Ordinary of her Household was struck off twenty-two Messes of Meat; which was considered to be paring the Cheese rather close.
Also, the new Coins were issued: them that we call the Double-face. The Spanish Prince, to buy good Opinion, had brought over Heaps of Gold with him. In one Day, there came to the Tower twenty Carts guarded by Spaniards, each containing twenty-seven Chests of Treasure, matted about with Mats. But Gold won't buy Love: the common Talk was how he held himself close, and lived sullen, without ever an English Lord at Court save only the Bishop of Winchester.
Then Bishop Bonner began his Visitation, to see the old Service set up, and paint out the Scripture Texts on the Church-walls, and set up the Images. They say that, in conducting this Matter, he was little short of a raging Madman, whenever he met with any, the least Opposition.... I think thou mayst believe it of him, when thou hearest what I have presently to say.
Master Hewet's Shrievalty was out; and never was Man better pleased to slip his Neck out of the Collar. We were sitting peaceably together, when a Woman comes in to him all in Tears. 'Twas Tomkins' Wife, poor Dinah, to do us to wit that Tomkins, with sundry others, had been apprehended by Bishop Bonner, and taken for Examination to his Palace at Fulham. "And, unless their Manhood fail them," quo' she, weeping, "we may give them up for lost; for he makes the Real Presence a Net for catching Small and Great." We comforted her all we could; but she spake too true a Word.