"Perhaps I may please them no better, Prue," said I, "however, I'll try." And as I proceeded to take her Place, I heard Mr. Paul (that's to say, Mr. Caryl,) observe to Sir Charles, "Humph! we've lost Rachel and got Leah."
This was not over-civil; but I took no notice.
"Now then," cries Lady Betty, in high Good-Humour, "I'll make you what we have called a Petersham Chicken, ever since Lady Caroline's Frolick. Here are seven of us, and here are seven Chickens, which must, in the first Place, be finely minced; so let each take one." And while every one was laughing and mincing their Chicken, she pulls off ever so many diamond Rings from her white Fingers, and gives them to her Woman to hold.
"Don't trouble yourself, my Lord," says she, carelessly, as he stoops to pick up one she had let fall on the Grass, "Gatty will find it. Here, Child, take them all; and," (aside with a Frown), "be sure you don't lose them. Now, Pompey! the spirit-Lamp; three pats of Butter, and a Flaggon of spring Water. The only variation I make in Lady Caroline's cookery is to stew my Chicken in a silver Stew-Pan, instead of in a China Dish, which might crack over the Lamp. Prithee, Pompey, don't let the Grass grow under your Feet!"
Methought, if her Ladyship had been obliged to cook her own Supper, she would have considered herself demeaned by it very much: however, there is nothing that Quality will not do for a Freak. By and by, she gets tired of stewing her Chicken over the Lamp, and bids the young Person she calls Gatty to carry it in-doors and dress it over the Fire. "And be sure, Child, not to let it burn." As I did not seem wanted, I shewed Mrs. Gatty the way to the Kitchen, and stood by while she stirred the Stew-Pan over the Fire. "I'm ready to drop!" says she, at length. "No wonder," said I, taking the silver Spoon from her, and using it myself, "you have never once sat down since you left the Boat, and 'tis the Dog-Days. Rest awhile, and I'll mind the Chicken." "Thank you heartily," says she, dropping into a Seat, and turning from Red to White, and then Red again. "May I take a draught of this cold Water?" "Aye, and welcome," said I, "so that you're not afraid of drinking it while you're so hot." "Oh, I'm not afraid," says she, drinking plentifully of it, and setting down the Mug with a Sigh of relief. "I'm better now, but there was such a glare upon the River." "Are you her Ladyship's Woman?" said I. With that, she fetches a deep Sigh; and, says she, "I'm no better, now, and a hard Life to me it is. I am the Daughter of a poor Country Curate, who died and left a large Family penniless: but my Mother, who married him for love, had high Connections; so Lady Betty takes me for her Woman, partly, as she says, out of Charity, and partly because she prefers being served by a decayed Person of Condition. I have twenty Pounds by the Year, and indeed 'tis hardly earned." "That I can well believe," said I. "But what can I do?" says she. "My Lady has engaged to give me enough cast-off Apparel, to keep me in Clothing; so that I shall be able to send the twenty Pounds to my Mother." "There'll be some comfort to you in doing that," said I. "The greatest of comforts," says she; "and 'tis that which keeps me up, in spite of hard Work, late Hours, and contumely; for no one has a better and dearer Mother than I have." "Well, the Chicken is done now," said I. "Shall I carry it out for you?" "Oh no, I dare not remain behind," says Gatty; "but do you come along with me, for you will make me feel less lonely." So I went with her according to her wish; and when we came up to the Table, we found Lady Betty talking about her foreign Travels; for, it seemed she had been abroad with my Lord her Father, on some public Mission or Ambassade, to this and the other distant Land, that had formerly been the Seat of War. And, to my Fancy, she discoursed agreeably enough of Belgrade, Peterwaradin, and Prince Eugene, though my Lord did not seem to think so; for, once, he covered his Mouth with his Hand to conceal a Yawn, not so adroitly but that my Lady perceived it; and thereupon she immediately diverted her Conversation to Sir Charles, and never spoke to his Lordship another Word. The Petersham Chicken was too Gross, as 'twas like to be, with that monstrous quantity of Butter: my Lady Betty was annoyed, and said Mrs. Gatty had oiled it over the Fire, darting at her a side-look of Reproach. It was sent away, and the Fruit set upon Table; and the Black Boy, producing a Theorbo, sang foreign Airs while they finished their Repast. A brisk encounter of Wits then ensuing between Mr. Caryl, Mr. Arbuthnot, and Sir Charles, my Lady presently found herself cut out; notwithstanding she made one or two ineffectual efforts to recover the lead; and extremely mortified that she should, even for a few Minutes, be Second, she threw herself back in her Chair, called for Essences, and bade Mrs. Gatty support her to the House; protesting she had the Vapours to that degree, that nothing but Seclusion and Repose could restore her sufficiently to enable her to take Boat. The other two Ladies, constrained to follow her, made wry Faces to one another behind her Back, but accompanied her in-doors, leaving the Gentlemen to saunter about, or sit over their Wine. Having entered our little Parlour and made a prodigious fuss, till we were all in waiting on her, "How horridly vapourish I feel!" cries she; "But what! Is that some real Dragon China on the Mantel-Shelf? How did you come by it, Mrs. Patty?"
I coldly replied, "My Father bought it, Madam."
"And, those Josses and Mandarins," pursues she, "have positively the appearance of being, nay, they are genuine! What lovely Chelsea China! These Shepherdesses fondling Lambs and Kids are nearly equal to mine. Sure, can a Person of your Father's Condition, Mrs. Patty, afford to be a Virtuoso?"
"Had my Husband not been a Virtuoso, Madam," says my Mother, quietly looking up from making an Hippocrates' sleeve for our Jelly, "these Girls had never needed to keep a Bun-House." Which indeed, was true enough, for my Father, who had been apprenticed to the first Jeweller in London, might have commanded a flourishing Business, and accumulated a Fortune, but for his unhappy Taste for Articles of Virtu, which led him into connection with unprincipled Men of Quality, who ran in his Debt, and would have run him through if he had dunned 'em; and that again led to his drowning Trouble in Intemperance. So that, had not a Legacy, opportunely left to my dear Mother for her sole and separate use, enabled her to purchase our present House and Business, for Prudence and me, 'twould have fared ill with her and with us, and with my poor Father too. And hitherto, we had gone on so steadily and respectably, that we had given general Satisfaction, and notwithstanding our unprotected State (for my poor Father was almost worse than no Protection,) had kept good Names, and met with no Let nor Hindrance.
Lady Betty, without vouchsafing more than a Stare at the Speaker of the Words just addressed to her, turns her Head slowly round towards me, and with more Haughtiness than I can describe, "Prithee, Mrs. Patty," says she, "is that good Woman your Mother?"
Now certainly, to be a good Woman is the chief Merit of our Sex; and to have it acknowledged that one whom we dearly love and reverence is such, ought to be taken as a compliment, rather than the other way: but yet I knew full well that Lady Betty had not used this term respectfully and kindly, but quite the reverse; wherefore I replied, "Yes, Madam," very bluntly.