"Never caught Cold in my Life, Ma'am, that was only Flummery; a Sailor has Something else to do than keep sneezing and blowing his Nose. And I can leave my Money and Watch here."
"Prudence," said I, "you and I could sleep in the little blue Closet."
"Why shouldn't Tom," said Prudence, "now the other Door is un-nailed? We should have to move all our Things."
"Thank you, Patty," said Tom, "you were always as sweet as Syrup to me. I shall like the blue Closet a precious deal the best, I can assure you, instead of being mast-headed."
So thus it was arranged; and the light-hearted Fellow was soon established among us, spinning long Yarns, as he called them, about John Chinaman.
The next Day, he was absent for some Hours, and when he came back, he said he wanted Prue and me to go with him in the Evening to see a Conjuror. Prudence, for some Whim, would not go; but I accompanied him with Pleasure. The Way Tom went on, however, spoiled my Evening's Entertainment.
The Conjurer was dressed somewhat in the Oriental Style, and I should have taken him for a real Foreigner, only that Tom whispered to me that was all Sham. In Fact, he began by addressing us in very good English, and saying that the Marvels he was about to display were unaccompanied by any Fraud or Deception, and that any Lady or Gentleman who doubted his Word might come and sit at his Elbow. "I accept your Invitation!" cries Tom; and immediately "slued himself round," as he expressed it, round a Pillar between us and the Stage, slipped down it as if he had been a Monkey, and was at the Man's Side in a Moment. The Conjurer looked sufficiently annoyed, but not more so than I felt, for it seemed to me that the Eyes of all the Audience were alternately on Tom and me, as indeed they well might be. Luckily for my Comfort and Respectability, he left me sitting next to a very steady-looking elderly Couple, the nearest of which said, "Never mind, young Lady, we'll take Care of you." I said, "It was so very thoughtless of him to leave me!" and felt quite uncomfortable. "It was very thoughtless," said the good Woman's Husband, smiling, "I should think, Miss, he's in the sea-faring Line." I said, "Yes, Sir," and we then began to attend to what was going on, on the Stage; but I sat on Thorns all the While.
Tom, quite unembarrassed by the Publicity of his Position, kept his Eyes fixed on the Conjurer's Proceedings with an Air of lively Interest. The two or three first Tricks drew from him such Exclamations as "Capital! Excellent!" which appeared somewhat to mollify the Cunning Man; but at length, when Something was done which seemed very surprising, Tom coolly remarked, "Ah! I see how that is managed," in a Voice as clear as a Bell, that was heard all over the House. The Conjurer shook his Head at him and frowned; but went on to Something else. Again Tom was pleased; again he clapped as heartily as any. The next Trick he marked his Approval of by saying, "Very neat, very neat." At Length came the grand Feat of the Evening, which was swallowing a Carving-Knife. Everybody's Attention was riveted, when Tom said in an Expostulatory Voice, "But, my dear good Fellow, how can you say there is no Fraud or Deception?" "Sir, I defy you to prove any," says the Conjurer. "I will prove it directly," says Tom, "for I have often seen the Thing better done in India." "Sir, you are an impertinent Fellow," says the Conjurer; "I must insist upon it that you withdraw. If you will not retire of your own Accord, you shall do so on Compulsion, for it is highly indecorous to interrupt a public Performance in this Manner."
"Well, but why did you ask me?" said Tom. "I didn't!" says the Conjurer. "You did," says Tom. "Didn't he?" to the whole House. "Knock him down! Throw him over!" cried several Voices. "Give him into Custody!" "Nay," says Tom, "I don't want to make any Disturbance:—if you wish me to go, I'll go, for I never like to put People to the least Inconvenience, and I'm sure if I'd known you didn't mean to be taken at your Word, I would have stayed where I was!" Saying which, he swung himself up the Pillar again, and was by my Side the next Moment, looking as merry and good-tempered as ever. But I was so penetrated with Shame, that I could not bear to look up, but begged him to let us go Home, to which he acceded, though with much Surprise. The next Morning, I was giving my Father and Mother an Account of my uncomfortable Evening, when Tom, coming in to Breakfast, says, "Who is that pale, lanky Chap I met just now upon the Stairs?"