"Nothing has ever seemed to be for me, myself. Everything has always pointed to me for others."
Lorenzo paced back and forth. "But it is the women like you who should show the way out of the wilderness and back to the right, instead of attempting to order the chaos while sweeping on with it. If there be a real truth in this new teaching which lays hold of all those who are in earnest so easily and so quickly, its first care should be to demonstrate happiness in the lives of its believers,—not the negative happiness of wide-spread devotion to others, but the positive lessons of joy in the center from which springs—must spring—the next generation of better, wiser men and women, those among whom I expect to live as an old man."
Jane turned her face away, her eyes filled with tears. "You make me feel very small and petty," she said; "you show me a way beyond what I had guessed. But I can't grasp at it; I'm too used to asking nothing for myself. I'm always so sure that God is managing for me. And I have so much to do."
"Perhaps realization that God is managing is all that you need to set right. Perhaps that confidence will bring you all things. Even me." He laughed a little.
"It has brought me all that I needed. Daily bread, daily possibilities of helpfulness,—I don't ask more, except 'more light.'"
"It sounds a little presumptuous coming from me, but perhaps I can help you towards your end, even as to 'more light.' At any rate, I'll try if you'll let me."
She sat quite still. Finally she lifted up her eyes—and they were beautiful eyes, big and true—and said, the words coming softly forth: "It would be so wonderful."
Lorenzo didn't speak. He felt choked and gasping. To him it was also "so wonderful," as wonderful as if he hadn't lived with it night and day ever since the first minute of knowing her. "I think I'd better go," he said very gently, realizing keenly that he must not press her in this first blush of the new spring-time. "I've 'made my picture' you know, and I won't let it fade, you may be sure. And you must believe in happiness for yourself,—you tell us that the first step is all that counts. Get the seed into the ground then. I'll do the rest."
She sat quite still. "If I could only try," she whispered. He turned quickly away and was gone.
After a dizzy little while she rose and went into the kitchen. Susan was moving briskly about.