"I see Mrs. Fisher on my way home. She 's happy as ever. She says nothin' must do last night but Mr. Fisher must build a flyin'-machine with John Bunyan to hold the nails when he hammered. Mrs. Fisher says she quit holdin' nails afore she'd been married a year 'n' Mr. Fisher 's jus' wild now 't he's got a new hand to hold his nails f'r him. She says they were tinkerin' on the thing all last evenin' 'n' a good part o' this mornin' 'n' two mattresses to beat 'n' a chair to mend 's never counted for anythin'. Well—seems 't towards noon Mr. Fisher got to where he could go down town to get the top part pumped up, 'n' while he was down town what did John Bunyan do but up 'n' put wheels on the bottom part? My! but Mrs. Fisher says 't Mr. Fisher was mad when he got back 'n' see them wheels. He tied the pumped up part to the hammer 't was layin' on the garden bench, 'n' then he shook John Bunyan hard 'n' asked him what in thunder he meant by puttin' wheels on a flyin'-machine, 'n' John Bunyan jus' up 'n' asked him to his face how under the sun he was 'xpectin' to make the thing go 'f it didn't have no wheels on it. Mrs. Fisher says she was in behind the kitchen blinds 'n' she was fit to kill herself laughin' to see how mad Mr. Fisher got,—he got so mad 't he backed up 'n' fell over the garden bench 'n' busted the pumped up part o' the flyin'-machine all hollow. Mrs. Fisher says it finished her to see a flyin'-machine with the top part all holes 'n' the bottom part all wheels. She says she 's give John Bunyan her father's cuff-button 'n' told him 'f he keeps on 's well 's he 's begun 't she 'll give him a button f'r the other cuff the day he's twenty-one.
"Mrs. Brown was down town buyin' eggs. She says them Leghorns o' hers can't begin to keep up with Henry Ward Beecher. She says, besides, 't she hasn't no scraps to feed 'em since he's come, 'n' so the knife cuts two ways. She's mighty glad that the observin' 's goin' to begin to-night, f'r she says she's prayin' Heaven for relief but she ain't got much faith left. Mr. Kimball was feelin' mighty funny, 'n' he hollered to her 't she wa'n't the first to have her faith shook by Henry Ward Beecher, but we was all too considerate for her feelin's to laugh. I wouldn't laugh at a joke o' Mr. Kimball's anyhow."
"I wish—" said Mrs. Lathrop mildly.
"It's a curious thing," continued Susan,—"it's a mighty curious thing how many folks is give to likin' to hear themselves talk. Mr. Kimball's a sad example o' that kind o' man. I'd sometimes enjoy to stop 'n' exchange a few friendly words with him, but, lor'! I'd never get a chance. The minister is about all I c'n stand in the talkin' line—'n' you, o' course, Mrs. Lathrop."
The evening after, as Susan was snapping out her dish-towels, she spied her neighbor meandering back and forth among the clover blossoms. Later she observed her standing—ruminative and ruminating, so to speak—at the fence. There was always a potent suggestion in Mrs. Lathrop's pose, as she leaned and waited, which vastly accelerated Miss Clegg's after-dinner movements. In this case less than two minutes intervened between the waiting of Mrs. Lathrop and the answering of her younger friend.
"Was you to—" the older woman asked, as her eyes were brightened by the approach of her medium of communication with the world at large.
"Oh, yes," replied that lady, "I was to town, 'n' the whole town 's light-headed 'n' runnin' hither 'n' yon like they was ants bein' stepped on. The town's gone plum crazy over the minister bein' gone altogether. I do believe the only happy woman in it last night was Gran'ma Mullins, 'n' 'f you want to see happiness, Mrs. Lathrop, you'd ought to see Gran'ma Mullins this day. Seems 't Mrs. Sperrit was drivin' in early last evenin' 'n' she stopped at Gran'ma Mullins to get one o' the crick stones out o' her horse's shoe, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins was weepin' on the piazza while little Jane chewed up her spectacle-case, 'n after she got the stone out Mrs. Sperrit jus' up 'n' took little Jane home with her. She said 't little Jane could chew all she liked out on the farm, 'n' Gran'ma Mullins said 't she all but fell on her knees at her feet. She was down town this afternoon buyin' two dozen o' cotton an' one dozen o' glue, 'n' she says 't she sh'll spend the rest o' her allotted time in peace 'n' mendin'.
"But Gran'ma Mullins' joy is more 'n balanced by Mrs. Brown, for Mrs. Brown is clean discouraged. I see her sittin' on a barrel in the grocery store, 'n' it was a molasses barrel 'n' some 'd run out, but she hadn't no heart to care. She says 't Henry Ward Beecher never budged last night, 'n' so far from that bein' a relief, it led to worse 'n ever, for old Dr. Carter 'n' young Dr. Brown got so hungry observin' 't they went downstairs, 'n' young Dr. Brown knowed where everything was, 'n' as a result they eat up stuff 't Henry Ward Beecher never 'd even dreamed existed. They opened jars o' fancy pickles 'n' a jug o' rare old rum 'n' played Ned in general. 'N' afterwards they went to bed in the guest-room where Mrs. Brown never lets any one sleep, 'n' they got right in on top o' her Hottentot pillow-shams 'n' old Dr. Carter tore a sham with his toothpick. 'N', added to all that, Amelia 's furious 'cause she read in a book 't teaches how to stay married 't a husband's first night out is the first rift in the lute, 'n' she was down town buyin' a dictionary so 's to be sure what a lute is afore she accuses young Dr. Brown. 'N' there's a man over in Meadville down with a sun-stroke, 'n' they want Dr. Carter to hurry, 'n' they can't seem to make him realize nothin'. He jus' sits there in Mrs. Brown's parlor 'n' shakes his head 'n' smiles 'n' says, 'Oh, that rum, that rum!' over 'n' over. 'N' Mrs. Brown says 't if it wasn't plain from the expression of his face as he means it as a compliment she certainly would be real mad, for he must 'a' downed two quarts. It 's all jus' awful, 'n' I would 'a' waited 'n' walked home with her, only Mrs. Allen come along 'n' I wanted to go with her instead. Mrs. Allen needs some sympathy too, for Polly 's all broke up over Sam 'n' Felicia Hemans. Mrs. Allen don't hesitate to say right out't to her order o' thinkin' Sam 'd 'a' showed more sense 'f he'd married Mrs. Macy 'cause Mrs. Macy has got a little property 'n' it looks doubtful at present if Felicia 's got so much as a father. Mrs. Allen says they was all so used up 't when Mrs. Sperrit was in to-day she jus' traded Brunhilde Susan against the makin' o' Mr. Sperrit's summer shirts, 'n' then went right 'n' bought the cloth 'n' took the baby. Mrs. Allen says 's Mrs. Sperrit says 't Brunhilde Susan c'n learn if dogs moo out on the farm, 'n' f'r her part she'd rather be responsible f'r any man's baby 'n for one husband's collar-bands. So Brunhilde Susan 's settled, 'n' Mrs. Allen 's awful sorry 't she didn't send the cow along with her too, for she says 't it's harder 'n you'd think to keep a cow content nights in a chicken-house. But she didn't think in time, so she lost the chance, 'n' as a result she was down town buyin' thread with the minister's cow on her shoulders."
Miss Clegg paused for breath. Mrs. Lathrop chewed passively.