PART SECOND
THE AUTOMOBILE
Mrs. Lathrop collapsed backward and downward, her eyes closed, her mouth opened, her hands fell at her sides, her feet flew out in front of her. Never in the history of the world were the words "This is so sudden!" more vividly illustrated.
Susan sat bolt upright opposite and surveyed her friend's emotion with an expression of calm and interested neutrality.
After a while Mrs. Lathrop's eyes began to open and her mouth to close; she gathered her hands into her lap, and her feet under her skirt, saying weakly:
"Well, I never hear nothin' to beat—"
"I ain't surprised 't your takin' it to heart like that," said the imparter of news. "I may tell you in confidence 't I was nigh to laid out myself in the first hearin' of it. I looked upon it jus' as you did, an' jus' as anybody in their common senses naturally would. It was n't no more 'n was to be expected that me, bein' neat like himself an' unmarried, too, sh'd 'a' struck him 's just about what he was lookin' for. I 'm younger 'n Gran'ma Mullins 'n' Mrs. Macy, an' older 'n 'Liza Em'ly an' Polly Ann. I 've got property, 'n' nobody can 't say 's I have n't always done my duty by whatever crossed my path, even if was nothin' but snow in the winter. All the time 't he was talkin' I was thinkin', 'n' I tell you, Mrs. Lathrop, it's pretty hard work to smile 'n' look interested in a man's meanderin's while you 're tryin' to figure on how you can will your money safe away from him. I was n't calc'latin' on havin' Deacon White get any of my money, I c'n tell you, an' I meant to have that understood right in the beginnin'. Maybe he would n't 'a' liked it; but if he had n't 'a' liked it, he c'd 'a' give me right square up. Lord knows, I never was after him with no net; I don't set about gettin' what I want that way. 'N' I never for one minute have thought o' wantin' the deacon. I 'm used to lookin' everythin' square in the face, 'n' no one as has got eyes could look the deacon in the face 'n' want him. 'N' the more they turned him round 'n' round, the less they'd want him. It ain't in reason's the friend could be found to deny 't he 's as bow-legged as they make 'em. An' then there's his ears! A woman could, maybe, overlook the bow-legs if she held the newspaper high enough; but I don't believe 's any one in kingdom come could overlook them ears. Mr. Kimball says Belgian hares an' Deacon White 's both designed to be catched by their ears. I looked at him to-day 'n' figured on maybe tryin' to tame 'em in a little with a tape nightcap; but then I says to myself, I says: 'No; if he 's to be my husband, I 'll probably have so much to overlook that them ears 'll soon be mice to the mountain o' the rest,' an' so I give up the idea. I had bother enough with tryin' to see where I 'd put him, fer I certainly would n't consider movin' down to his house for a minute, 'n' it was a question 's to a stove in father's room or givin' him double windows for a weddin' present.
"'N' then, all of a sudden, he come out with wantin' you!
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, I jumped—I really did. Him so tidy 'n' goin' out on the porch half a dozen times a day to brush up the seeds under the bird-cage—'n' wantin' you! I couldn't believe my ears at first, 'n' he talked quite a while, 'n' I did n't hear a word he said. 'N' then, when I did find my tongue, I jus' sat right down 'n' did my duty by him. Mrs. Lathrop, you know 's well 's I do how fond I am o' you; but you know, too, 's well 's I do 't no woman 's calls herself a Christian c'd sit silent an' let a man keep on supposin' 't he c'd be happy with you. I talked kind, but I took no fish-bones out 'o the truth. I give him jus' my own observation, 'n' no more. I told him 't it was n't in me to try to fool even a deacon; an' so when I said frank and free 't even your very cats soon give up washin' their faces, he c'd depend upon its bein' so. I says to him, I says: 'Deacon White, there's lots o' worse things 'n bein' unmarried, 'n' if you marry Mrs. Lathrop you 'll learn every last one of 'em. Your first wife was deaf,' I says, ''n' Mrs. Lathrop c'n hear. She 's a very good hearer, too,' I says (for you know 's I'd never be one to run you down, Mrs. Lathrop); 'but anythin' 's is more of a' effort than listenin' never gets done in her house. You 're tidy in your ways, Deacon White,' I says; 'any one as's ever passed when you was hangin' out your dish-towels 'd swear to that; an' such bein' the case, how c'd you ever be happy with them 's spreads their wash on the currant-bushes or lets it blow to the dogs?' Maybe I was a little hard on him, but I felt 's it was then or never, 'n' I tried my best to save him. It ain't in nature for them 's goes unhooked to ever realize what their unhookedness is to them 's hooks, an' so it 'd be hopeless to try to let you see why my sympathies was so with the deacon; but, to make a long tale short, he jus' hung on like grim death, 'n' in the end I had to give up. He said I was your friend, an' he wanted 's I sh'd explain everythin' to you; an' to-morrow, when he gets back from Meadville, he 'll come up an' get his answer. He did n't ask 'f I thought you 'd have him, 'cause o' course he knowed you 'd have him 's well 's I did. He said 's he sh'd mention it about town to keep any women from takin' the same train with him. He says he has n't been anywhere by himself for ever so long. He says jus' as soon 's he 's married he 's goin' off for a good long trip, all alone."
Susan ceased speaking for a little; Mrs. Lathrop looked dazed and dubious.