"Was—" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"Well, I should think he was," replied Susan. "I never see such a appetite. He eat pork 'n' beans like he thought they was twins off a vine, 'n' I had to finally get up 'n' clear away to save any a tall. I set the tea-kettle by him 'n' told him to end by havin' all the tea he wanted to pour through the leaves by himself, 'n' I went back to my ironin'. He sat there 'n' drank tea very happy for a long spell. Seemed like it sort o' thawed him out, 'n' finally he begin to talk about her, 'n' once he got started on that he never quit. I ironed curtains 'n' listened 'n' let him talk. It was n't long afore he begin to show the disadvantages o' bein' dead, for he said as he was always the practical one of them both, 'n' he'd never have dared say that with old Mrs. Ely on top of the earth. I was amused at his sayin' it anyhow, with the Virginia creeper graftin's there in a tomato-can bearin' witness agin him, but I didn't say nothin'. He asked me if I'd believe as she was really a very fair-lookin' girl when they was married. I couldn't but stop at that 'n' ask him if it was ever possible as her nose was ever any different, 'n' he had to say 'No, not any different;' 'n' I can assure you as he set 'n' rubbed his chin with his hand a long time afterwards 'n' then drew a big breath 'n' said 'No, not any different.' I felt to respect his feelin's 'n' did n't say nothin', 'n' after a while he went on an' said that they was very happy married on the whole, 'n' then he rubbed his chin with his hand a nother long while 'n' said over again 'on the whole.' He asked me then if I ever heard how he came to marry her first 'n' I said as I always hear as it was to get the farm. He kind of flared up at that 'n' said there never was nothin' agin her but her nose, 'n' at that I took a fresh iron 'n' said he asked me a plain question 'n' I give him a plain answer, which, considerin' his horse 'n' my clothes-pole 'n' her nose, was all as could in reason be expected of me. He softened down at that 'n' said as he was n't by no means meanin' to make light of his dead wife's nose, 'n' I said as, speakin' o' Mrs. Ely's nose bein' the one thing agin' her, it was the joy of every other person as met her as it was agin her 'n' not agin them, for it was a well-known fact as Mr. Kimball had said hunderds of times as if he had that nose an' leaned over a bridge 'n' see it in the water he 'd be willin' to let it overbalance him then 'n' there 'n' be drowned forever. He got pretty meek at that, for it showed as I was in earnest, 'n' he went on to say as it was large, but he said as afore she took to that way of kind o' shrinkin' back of it it did n't look so large, 'n' anyway she was his married 'n' buried wife. I told him I was certainly glad to know that, seein' as they 'd lived together so many years, 'n' then he said it 'd really be nothin' but a joy to him to tell me how he come to marry her, so I said I 'd listen 'n' welcome 'n' he started in.
"I must say this, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' that is that I soon see as it was lucky as I was n't feelin' no special call to talk any myself, for he set out in a most steady sort of a discouragin' down-pour, kind of cross-your-legs 'n' clear-your-throat, 'n' I see as I was in for it 'n' just let him pour, for feelin's catches us all ways 'n' whatever he felt about old Mrs. Ely it was plain as some one had got to hear it to the last drop. So I let him drop away, 'n' I will in all fairness say, as a more steady spout I never see no one under. He never seemed to consider as how me or any one might perhaps enjoy to maybe make a remark from time to time, 'n' even when he ain't talkin' he 's got that way o' rubbin' his chin as makes it seem most impolite to bu'st in on. I didn't care much, though, 'cause I had the curtains, 'n' besides I may in confidence state as when I really felt to speak I sailed right in anyhow 'n' spoke what I wanted to. For I never was one to sit by 'n' have my tail calmly trod on, as you 'n' a great many others knows to your cost, Mrs. Lathrop, 'n' then, too, each time when I see as he was nigh to tippin' into the cistern it was really nothin' but a joy to him to know it in time to hitch away."
"Did—" said Mrs. Lathrop.
"In the first place," said Susan, "he asked me if I 'd mind his smokin' his pipe, 'n' I told him I most certainly would, so that ended that subjeck right up square at the beginnin'. Then he said he 'd been married nigh on to forty years 'n' I told him to look out for the cistern 'n' he hitched along a piece 'n' begin again. 'N' then he seemed set a-goin' for keeps.
"Seems, Mrs. Lathrop, as he never had no family, but he says he was a very handsome young fellow for all that. I looked pretty hard at him, but he stuck to it 'n' I let it go. He went on to say as he growed up anyhow 'n' drifted to Meadville when he was long about twenty-four, 'n' went on to the Pearson farm. Oh, my, but he says that was a stony farm! I tell you but he rubbed his chin with his hand a long while afore he said all over again, 'but that was a stony farm!' An' the gophers!—Well, he says whatever the Recordin' Angel has got down he bets he's skipped some o' them gophers. He says the hairs on your head is a mere joy to reckon up, 'n' fallin' sparrows too, beside them gophers. He says savin' a cent in the time o' Egypt 'n' seein' what you 'd have now if you 'd only done it, is nothin' to the way them gophers on the Pearson farm was give to givin' in marriage. He says as it was a very stony farm, 'n' in between every two stones was one hole 'n' half a dozen gophers to a hole, in the single season. He says ploughin' was like churnin' with nothin' but stones 'n' gophers in the churn. He says they was that tame they'd run up your legs 'n' up the horses' legs; he said maybe I would n't believe it, 'n' I told him I certainly would n't, so then he went on to another subjeck.
"He says he used to plough through them gophers all day 'n' court Tilly all night. Tilly was old Mrs. Ely. He says she 'd never been courted on a'count of her nose, but he said he wanted a farm bad enough to be willin' to never forget to tip his face pretty well crossways. He says she was so happy bein' courted that at first it made the gophers just seem like nothin' a tall, 'n' he says as you can't maybe get the full sense o' that but it's there just the same. I tell you, Mrs. Lathrop, you can see that man has suffered. I asked him was he afraid of mice too, 'n' he bristled up pretty sharp 'n' said he wa'n't afraid of gophers, only they took you so unawares. I had to tell him right there to look out for the cistern lid, 'n' he hitched over by the table again 'n' then he said, Well, so it went all summer. He said he got so tired o' gophers, 'n' moonlight, 'n' hittin' her nose hard by accident, times when he was n't thinkin', as he was nothin' but glad when September come 'round. He says he 'd figgered all along on bein' married in September, 'n' he never for one moment mistrusted as he wouldn't be; but he says of all the awful things to count on, Tilly Pearson was the worst. Oh! my, he says, but she was cranky! 'n' then he rubbed his chin with his hand a long while 'n' then said 'cranky,' over again in a very hard tone. He says would you believe it that after all his love-makin' along the first o' September she begin to get terrible uppish 'n' throw her head aroun' 'n' put on airs 'n' he was just dumbfounded at her goin's on."
"What—" asked Mrs. Lathrop.
"Then he says one awful day when he was stackin' straw, Old Pearson told him flat 'n' plain as if he was n't goin' to marry Tilly, he need n't count on spendin' the winter as their company. Well, he says you can maybe realize what a shock that was. He says his nose was just smashed numb 'n' his sleep was full o' grabbin' at 'em in his dreams 'n' now it looked like all was for nothin' a tall. Still he says he scraped up a smile 'n' a cheerful look 'n' told Old Pearson as he was more 'n willin' to marry Tilly for his winter's board but it was Tilly as was makin' the trouble. He says Old Pearson looked sort of surprised at that, but he thought a little while 'n' then he told him as if he was smart he 'd find a way to bring Tilly to her senses, 'cause every woman had some way to be brought to her senses, 'n' then he went off 'n' left him to think.
"Well, Mrs. Lathrop, you can see without any tryin' that that man suffered. I pretty near stopped 'n' burnt jus' to listen to him. He says as he sit there plum beside hisself 'n' most cried from not knowin' what under Heaven's name to do. He says he was placed most awful with winter starin' him stark in the face 'n' no warm place to stay. He says nobody knows how it feels to feel like he was forced to feel,—'nless they've been expectin' to be married 'n' then been discharged themselves instead. He says he looked about most doleful 'n' wished he was dead or anythin' that's warm, 'n' then he got down from the stack 'n' set on a old wagon tongue 'n' jus' tried to figger on if there was n't no way as he could think up as would make Tilly have him. He says the bitter part was to reflect as he had to work to make Tilly have him, when it 'd really ought by all rights to have been the other way. He says to think o' that nose 'n' then him obliged to work 'n' slave to get hold of it!"