"No!" thundered Ralph. "If you will give me time, Mrs. Short, I will speak, never you fear."
"And is it infectagious?" inquired Mrs. Short, earnestly. "Infectagious" was the word she used; and without ever having followed "Alice" through the looking-glass, she had made this portmanteau word for herself, by mingling together infectious and contagious.
Had Ralph been wary, he would have abstained from replying, and her fears might have got the better of her "good-nater;" but he was in such pain, and was besides so annoyed at her presence, that he incautiously replied:
"No! I never heard that rheumatism was catching, ma'am."
"Rheumatism! Now what a mercy, neighbour that it is no worse; and that it was Martha Short, and no other woman, that came to you! For my poor Matthew was that martyr to rheumatism, that I've heard him say more than once, that between his bones and my clack, he wished he was dead; which dead he is now, poor dear man, and so I hope he's satisfied. As to his saying that about my clack, it was only because he was ill, you know; for when in 'ealth, my Matthew loved to hear me speak, and I often wished for his sake that I was more inclined that way than I ever was. For I'm a silent woman, and that's the truth," she concluded, with a sound between a titter and a sigh, expressive of modesty and merit combined. "And you've had no breakfast, I'll be bound," she added.
"I don't want any," growled Ralph. "If you'll kindly let the warden know that I am ill, and should be glad to see the doctor, that's all I shall trouble you to do for me."
"Trouble! Did any one ever know Martha Short to name trouble when a neighbour wanted her in his house? And what could Mr. Hingston do for you; or the doctor either, honest man? Doctors ain't no use for rheumatism, not a bit. Warmth and a good nuss—and you shall see what a nuss my Matthew lost in me when he died!"
Ill as he was, Ralph was tickled by this very extraordinary notion, and gave utterance to a short, cross-sounding laugh. Mrs. Short beamed upon him.
"Why, there now! that's right, you're in better sperrits a'ready. Now I'll go down and bring up some coal, and I'll light you a fire; and then I'll boil a kettle and make you a stiff glass of punch, and you'll get a good heat and be all right again before, night."
Ralph looked serious enough now.