Rathfelder's Hotel

by Annie E. Bosworth

And myself said to me,"

sang my sister, while combing her hair; but I will not conclude the verse, for to those who know it already it is unnecessary to repeat it, and those who do not lose nothing by their ignorance. To me the sentiment it contains is so odious in its selfishness that although I feel certain Charlotte had no unamiable motive in thus singing the really silly words, yet her tone and manner grated harshly with a heart still aching under its present load of afflictive knowledge. I was the more vexed, too, because only a short time back I had told her of my conversation with aunt in the garden and the painful confession it had elicited; and though certainly surprised at the moment by her calm reception of an announcement which had so greatly tried and distressed me, I inwardly laid it to her superior firmness and self-control enabling her to take a more rational view of the case. Her calmness often made me feel myself to be morbidly sensitive, foolishly tender-hearted to a degree which was sometimes quite sinful. There were occasions however—and this was one—in which I pined to see a little less (I will honestly confess it) of the firm, upstanding spirit and more of weeping sympathy. I cannot but say that Charlotte heard my sad news with surprised feeling and evident regret; the colour deepened in her cheek and her eyes filled with tears; but it hurt me keenly to see how quickly she recovered from the stroke, making up her mind that, as she expressed it, "what must be, must be, and all the grieving in the world could not prevent it."

"If all the care in the world can, it shall," I exclaimed, passionately, yielding for the first time to an irrepressible burst of agony which drew upon me a lecture and a scolding, though not unkindly, from Charlotte.

"Such violent, uncontrolled sorrow, Mechie, proves a want of proper submission to the will of God," she went on. "I really wonder at you! Does not the Bible say, 'Have we received good at the hands of God, and shall we not receive evil?' or words to that purport at least. We have had nothing but good, as you know, all our lives through; and now the very first affliction which is sent upon us excites in you a most unholy feeling of opposition and expressions of murmuring and discontent."

And thus Charlotte continued until the subject, or rather her eloquence, was exhausted, wholly forgetting how often some trifling inconvenience or a few hours' illness had led her to bewail and lament over herself as one of the most ill-used and unfortunate beings in the world, and how any consolation or admonition on my part had been met by arguments as skilful in support of her discontented feelings as those she now used in condemning mine.

These thoughts and many others bearing upon the strange inconsistencies of her character, which I never could quite understand, flashed through my mind while Charlotte was carelessly singing the foregoing rhyme. That she could sing at all and seem so sorrow free only two short hours after hearing from me of our threatened bereavement astonished and pained me beyond expression. And now to be proclaiming, even in joke, that "no one cared for her, and therefore she had better take of herself," added so strong a feeling of anger to my other sensations that I cried out in a vehement tone: "Don't say that, Lotty! I can't bear to hear you. They are unchristian, unholy, heartless words! And how do such sentiments agree with what you said a short time ago—and very truly—that our whole life has been a continuation of blessings? Oh, Lotty, Lotty, how I do wish you would try, with the help of the Almighty, to cure yourself of that inconsistency which makes you appear what I know you are not—heartless and selfish!"

Charlotte had affected to be startled as first I spoke, and stared round at me with wide-open eyes of assumed amazement.

"Why, Mechie, how you frightened me! Really, these violent outbursts of indignation quite take away my breath. I must say I am very glad, considering poor auntie's delicate state of health, that you always reserve your heroics for my especial edification. Such sudden surprises would be highly injurious to her."

"My heroics! Oh, Charlotte, when you see me really distressed is it kind to speak in that sneering way?" I said, warmly, and bitter tears filled my eyes.