“Dearest Annie, I sobbed myself to sleep like a child, such a thing not having occurred for years. The Mystery of Pain!—if it were a clear duly to bear it, I would go through anything, but I cannot see the duty, and can feel the pain....
“You must take me as I am, dear Annie, with all my failings. If I am too impetuous, too energetic, too rash, these are all part of such virtues as I may possess, and, without the two first, the work that I have done would never have been done; and the last I do not think I am. Other feelings, of course, I have, unconscious and unknown to me. But take me as I am.
“I had a long and grave talk to Miss ——, who counsels fight, but not on any personal ground. She says, ‘Resign, if there is interference with the mistress’ liberty of action. That is a public question, and one of public interest.’
“She was so good and loving; she was so tender; and she is so wise and calm.
“She told me some of her own worries, and said that sometimes she quivered in every nerve at her own council meetings. People came in and asked for information, involving hours of work for no result; ignored all that had been done, and talked as if they alone had done everything and knew everything. She urged me to try and be impersonal, so to speak; to remember that these and similar difficulties would always occur where there are several people. She said that women were always accused of being too personal, and harm was done by giving a handle to such an assertion.
“Dearest Annie! I must try to follow your advice, and think of the work and not of myself. Please help me! Be a true friend, and don’t fear saying even unpleasant things to me if you think them deserved. I shall not quarrel.
“Worried and annoyed as I have been, I have never in my whole life been cut by, or had a quarrel with, even the most absurd parent! But you know I am to give in my resignation, if a public question, such as payment of teachers, hours of work etc., is raised.”
There were few head-mistresses who in those early days escaped some such trouble. Referring to one very well-known instance, in 1874, Miss Buss remarks—
“I see they are still in a state of fight at Milton Mount; there seems to have been a great storm at the annual meeting. I am so sorry for Miss Hadland, who is one of the best and bravest women I know. I feel that she has fought for a principle, and not in mere self-assertion. It is hard discipline to be thwarted at every turn when she has only a single eye for the children’s best education for this life and the next. Any worries that I have had in the past sink into insignificance compared with Miss Hadland’s.”
The recurrence of such difficulties rendered it desirable that the head-mistresses should take counsel together, and try to secure some firm and settled line of action which might lead to the avoidance of misunderstandings between themselves and their governing bodies.