Swift. Well, dear Tom, I suppose you have done now. I have finish'd a Sermon, on a better Subject twice as soon, and yet tir'd my People, God help them, before I had half done.
Prior. I see you don't relish the Transports of my Zeal on this Subject, which gives me such high Delight; so I shall mention but cursorily many Articles that remain, and shall pass by a Crowd in Silence, that well deserv'd my dwelling on them: What I shall begin the remaining part of my Catalogue with, is their exerting themselves with such Assiduity and Success; in Teaching young Lads to Draw and Design skilfully; in setting up Competitions for the best Delf, Roan and Crockery Ware, for Erecting the best Glass Bottle-Houses, for raising of Mulberry Trees, for making of Salt, for working the best Bone-Lace, and the best Imitation of it by the Needle: For the Encouragement of the best Needle-Works in Silk and Worsted; for the Advancement of those lovely Arts Painting, Architecture and Sculpture; for encouraging Tapestry, and enlarging our Fisheries: For improving the Tanning and Currying of our Leather, for the Discovery of Mines and raising of Ores, and for those who should annually Produce the best Invention in useful Arts and Husbandry. In a Word, by turning themselves every way, and applying their little Fund in different Years, to different Uses and Subjects, they seem'd not only to Influence, but even to animate the Whole of our Country; to fire our Hearts, to enlighten our Minds, and stir and strengthen our Hands; and by giving a new Turn to our Thoughts and Motions, to prepare us for yet greater Scenes of Industry, when larger Helps cou'd be got to excite us to it. They have shewn us the vast Effects of a well directed Emulation, and what a few hundred annual Pounds, have already done, and can produce hereafter, by the honest Oeconomy and prudential Directions, of a zealous and judicious Body of Citizens, who Study the Good of their Country. They have also shewn us another undisputed Truth, viz. That if their Fund was enlarg'd, the Good they wou'd do wou'd be proportionably encreased with it, and that little Wonders might be wrought in Ireland, by enlivening the Arts, by Feeding the Hungry, by giving Feet and Hands to the Lame and Lazy, Eyes to the Blind or dim-sighted, and raising the Dead and the Drousy, to Life and Activity.
Swift. Go on, dear Tom, go on, with your Raptures and Enthusiastical Reveries; but pray allow me to ask you one plain Question, what (if all you affirm be true) cou'd possibly hinder, this necessary, and indeed this important Enlargement of their Fund.
Prior. Why really, Mr. Dean, I cannot answer your Enquiry, without throwing one of the heaviest Imputations on a Nation, which I wou'd have Died to serve effectually, and which I spent my Life in labouring to serve, in too narrow and stinted a Manner. It must be confest, too few of our Nobility or Gentry, shew'd that Generosity of Soul to encrease the annual Income of the Society, by their Contributions, as might have been expected, from the Numbers of worthy Men among us, who do us real Honour. It is certain his Majesty set the Nation a noble Example, by Assigning them a Charter, and allowing them an handsome annual Revenue out of his Treasury; and what shou'd hinder Crowds of our worthiest Noblemen and Gentlemen, of large Fortunes and Minds proportioned to them, to Subscribe Ten or Twenty Pounds a Year, to so noble and so successful a Scheme, is hard and perhaps painful to [ say]: I am the more amaz'd at it, as they cou'd not but say, it wou'd have raised Ireland from Idleness to Industry, from Ignorance to Knowledge; from Contempt and Disregard, to Honour and Credit; and wou'd not have left us in fifty Years, an Idler or a Beggar, (which are but synonimous Terms) in the whole Kingdom. A Dish or two sav'd from their Tables, or a Bottle or two from their Revellings, an Horse or two left out of their Stables, nay even a lac'd Coat, or a lac'd Livery sunk: a Night of Gaming, a trifling Frolick, a Jaunt of Pleasure deducted from their usual Expences; or what is still better, a Winter or two spent in doing Good on their own Estates, wou'd more than answer all: It is certain, that it is absolutely incumbent on every Gentleman, I will not say that loves Ireland, but that loves himself and his Family, to do his best to assist so happy a Scheme, so distinguish'd a Society, with his Purse, his Head and his Hands, if he knows how to use any of them. Nay, they shou'd extend the same Methods, and the same Premiums, to their several Provinces, Counties and Cities, for the particular Arts and Manufactures, that are likeliest to thrive there: And if they diffused them to their own Estates, Manors and Tenants, it wou'd in Time with Patience and Management, produce vast Effects, and a strange Revolution in our Circumstances, Customs and Manners. These are Thoughts worthy of Men, of Christians, of Free-born Britons, and rational Creatures! worthy to be planted and nursed in every honest Breast, and to be spread as universally, as the Air we breathe, and the Bounds of Nature and the World. He that has them, and feeds and cultivates them in his Soul, and brings them into common Life and Action in his Country, has a better Claim to the Love of his Maker, or Fellow-Citizens, than if he had founded Empires, or discover'd new Worlds.
Swift. Very well, Tom—but pray will Mankind agree to these fine Doctrines, or will they not rather despise or ridicule them, as a little on the Romantick.
Prior. If the Lazy, the Vicious, and the Selfish laugh at such Notions, and look on such Plans of Things, as Dreams and Visions; the Active, the Virtuous, and the Disinterested, know their real Worth, and wish and labour, to have them spread as widely and as forcibly among Men, as Vices corrupt; and Plagues destroy. I and some others did our best, to propagate such ways of thinking and acting here; but I fear we might to as much Purpose, have admonish'd the modern Italians, to imitate the Courage, Zeal and publick Spirit of the antient Romans, for I did not find, that we made many Converts to our Opinions. However, Charity makes me think, that what chiefly hinders our Gentlemen from acting right, and making such Thoughts the great Rules of their Conduct; is the dread of being Singular, and the unmanly fear of envious Tempers. They apprehend being traduced or sneer'd at, by the common Herd of Mankind for their insolent Zeal, and their daring to set up to serve others, and improve their Countrymen, and therefore they decline it. It is odd how any good, not to say any great Mind, can be overaw'd by so mean a Modesty, by so poor a Terror, as the Censure or Malice of those he labours to serve, and yet Hundreds (I speak from long Experience) are influenced by it. What makes me wonder the more at such Conduct, is, that I am persuaded Malice here below, is not only design'd by the great Author of Good, as a Trial of our Virtue, to see if it is real and constant to the Touch, as the Goldsmith does his Metal by passing it thro' the Fire, but I cou'd even think Malice, is also a sort of Reward to Virtue.
Swift. Bless us all, Tom! Malice a Reward to Virtue! that is something new indeed, Tom.
Prior. It may be absurd also, but I am sometimes inclined to think it so, because it generally encreases and exalts our Worth, and also as it frequently serves to make it appear with the greater Dignity and Glory, when the Malice of Envyers is vanquish'd or silenced. Besides we often see it a direct Spur to noble Actions, and find it stimulates our Ardour to new advances; and when our Souls are firm enough, to smile at and even wish well to our Detractors, it swells the Heart with a nobler Joy, and an higher Delight, than even Virtue in any other Situation can give. But however that may be, I am sure it is the chief Reward of Virtue in this World, and this Age. But to dismiss that Point, I must observe that it has often amaz'd me, to see how few Gentlemen I cou'd persuade to exert themselves, by proper Donations or Subscriptions, to assist a Society that is so eminently useful to their Country.
Swift. I think you have accounted for it pretty well already, I will only add this plain Truth, that Men love their Money better than their Health, or their dear Bodies, to say nothing of their Souls. For this Reason it is, that they don't Care for giving it to Schemes of Notions, and airy Views of Industry, and Improving of Nations; but they keep it for solid Substantial Things, their Racing and Gaming, their Hawks and their Hounds, their Cloaths and their Coaches, their Houses and their Equipages, their Kitchens and Cellars, their Amours and Amusements. They are so far from giving their Money to such Projects and Views, that they will not even give their Thoughts or their Time to them, lest they shou'd be mislead, into the Plague of reading, and thinking, and reasoning; of contriving the best Methods, of punishing the Idle, reclaiming the Vicious, or employing the Poor. Such troublesome Methods, may prove the overthrow of Electioneering and Borough-buying, and their embosom'd Thirst for the poorest Power, the meanest Places, and the basest Gain; and in a Word it wou'd be the Destruction, of all those dirty Jobbs, that enrich private Rogues and beggar Nations. How, dear Tom, cou'd you expect such dissipated Minds, such a listless pleasurable Gentry, wou'd ever contribute a Thought, or a Shilling to improve Ireland, who won't improve one Thousand Acres, to help their Children and feed their Families? Who will not even take the Trouble, or be at the Expence, to lay out Nurseries for adorning their Estates, or plant out Groves and Woods, to make their Residence pleasant to them; nay, who will not even Build good Mansion Houses, or comfortable Offices for themselves or their Posterity? Wou'd such unthinking unactive Mortals, subscribe to Societies, or lighten their Purses to establish Premiums, who tho' they cou'd make themselves and their Fortunes easy, by a little Management, tho' they cou'd starve their Diseases by Temperance, and be an Honour to their Country, by a little Virtue and Dignity of Behaviour, will not think them worth their Attention. One shou'd never expect, mighty Efforts of Goodness or Greatness of Mind, from any Men, or even dream of moderate ones from Irishmen; or at least whoever does, shou'd remember what the Italian says, 'He who lives on Hope dies of Hunger.' As there are few among us, Tom, who have exalted Minds, enlarg'd Understandings, or uncorrupted Hearts, join'd with a noble Contempt, for whatever can happen to us here, it is pretty evident, why their Subscriptions were so few and so mean; for without these transcendent Qualities, 'tis hard to conceive how Men can truly love their Country, and be real sincere Patriots. Numbers have Generosity enough, to relieve a distrest Family, to join for a Ridotto, to set up a Musick Meeting, or an Assembly, or Subscribe for a Week's Races; but they wou'd as soon contribute to the Building of Churches, or endowing Colleges for the Advancement of Learning, as to promote the Trade, the Tillage, the Manufactures, the Welfare of Ireland, by taxing their Pocket, or substracting from their Pleasures. There is however one Excuse, which I must plead for them, notwithstanding all I have said, and that is the too general Despair, of doing any Service to their Country; by such Subscriptions, the Remedy is so disproportioned to the Disease. 'Tis, they think, like Sir Joseph Jekills, leaving 30,000 l. by his Will, to help to pay off the National Debt, of eighty Millions.
Prior. That was a poor Excuse indeed; for a considerable Number of generous Subscriptions, wou'd greatly relieve the Wants and Distresses of Ireland.