He spent a considerable part of the morning in the state-room by himself: then came out, and sat down with the Marshal, and breakfasted composedly, as usual. His dress was a plain cloth suit, a light grey mixture, such as he had always wore after he received his order of suspension in Gibraltar-bay; having stripped off his uniform, which he immediately threw into the sea, as soon as he had read that order.
At nine, when his friends came on board, in a familiar easy manner, he took each by the hand, and obligingly inquired after their health: and being informed that the quarter-deck was now the place appointed for his execution, in consideration of his rank, he was greatly pleased at it. He then spoke about an erasement in his will, which he had recollected; mentioning the sheet, the number of the line from the top, and the words erased. He expressed some uneasiness at that circumstance, and said, that though he did not apprehend such a circumstance would occasion any dispute amongst his relations, yet believing that erasement not mentioned as is customary upon the will, he thought it proper something should be drawn up, as an acknowlegment that the erasement was agreeable to his intention; which being done in the manner he desired, he copied it himself, signed it, and desired three gentlemen present to witness it.
After this the Admiral appeared satisfied, as if he had no farther concerns to think of; and had the morning-service performed by the chaplain of the Monarque.
The rest of his time was mostly spent in walking across the cabbin, conversing sometimes with one friend, sometimes with another. He had always declared that he would die with his face uncovered, and would give the word of command to the platoon of marines himself; saying, “As it is my fate, I can look at it, and receive it.”
As the time drew near, his friends unanimously endeavoured to dissuade him from it; frequently half gained his consent to have his face covered, and he as frequently retracted, and said, “No—it cannot be—I cannot bear it—I must look, and receive my fate.” But by representing to him, that, considering his rank, it was impossible the marines could receive the word of command from him, or look in his face, and see him looking at them, without being awed and intimidated; by hinting at the consequences which might ensue, that he might be wounded only, and mangled; and by adding every sort of argument and intreaty, he at last was prevailed upon and consented to have a bandage over his eyes, and to make a signal by dropping a handkerchief, though with very great reluctance: “If it must be so, said he, and you insist, it must be so.”
He then desired to be made acquainted with all the particulars of the form, that he might make no mistake; telling his friends, that he had never been present at such a ceremony himself. Proposed pulling off his coat; and when one of his friends informed him that was quite unnecessary, “But, said he, it may be said I kept my coat on as if afraid to receive the blow, or feel the bullets.” “No,” answered the gentleman, “such a remark can never be made; and it must be more decent to make no alteration in dress.” “Well then, replied he, if it is more decent, no alteration shall be made.”
The commanding officer of the marines was informed of the Admiral’s intentions, and the signal he was to make, that he might instruct his men; and at the same time was desired to let them know they should have a present of ten guineas, to encourage them to behave properly. The marines were all drawn up under arms, upon the poop, along the gang-ways in the waist, and on one side of the quarter-deck. On the other side of the quarter-deck was thrown a heap of saw-dust, and a cushion placed upon it; and in the middle, upon the gratings, a platoon consisting of nine marines were drawn up in three lines, three in each: the two foremost lines, intended to fire, had their bayonets fixed, as is customary on such occasions.
The captains of all the ships in Portsmouth-harbour, and at Spithead, were ordered to attend with their boats; but lay a-breast upon their oars[3], without coming on board, to avoid the inconvenience of so great a croud as that would have occasioned.
The Admiral, about eleven, as he walked across the cabbin, observed the croud of boats out of one of the side cabbin-windows, took his spying-glass and viewed several of them; and perceiving many boats from the shore, as well as the ship-boats, and the decks, shrouds, and yards of all the ships that lay near, covered with men, said he, “Curiosity is strong—it draws a great number of people together—but their curiosity will be disappointed:—where they are, they may hear, but they cannot see.”
Perceiving the Marshal had his uniform and sword on, speaking softly to one of his friends, “Do you observe,” said he, “how well dressed the Marshal is?” “Yes,” answered the gentleman; “I dare say, Sir, he intends paying the last piece of respect to you that he can.” “I am sensible he means well,” replied he, “and I accept the compliment.” The gentleman added, “To see you so easy and composed, Sir, gives me as much pleasure as I can have on this occasion; but I expected no less from the whole of your conduct heretofore, and the last actions of a man marks his character more than all the others of his life.” “I am sensible they do, Sir,” replied he, “and obliged to you for putting me in mind. I find innocence is the best foundation for firmness of mind.”