It is a still greater crime when a man conveys the impression that he is in love, by actions, gallantries, looks, attentions, all—except that he never commits himself—and finally withdraws his devotions, exulting in the thought that he has said or written nothing which can legally bind him.
But true love, as we remarked before, will find for itself some becoming expression and—
"needs not the foreign child of ornament."
Love, of course, unless some insuperable barrier exists, will be followed in due time by Courtship. Here some formalities will begin to be observed. The passion which blushed to own itself to itself, having been crowned, becomes a matter of interest to others than the two most particularly concerned. If a young man thinks fit to address himself first to the young lady, to find if his attentions be agreeable to her, he should not delay, after gaining her consent to them, to respectfully solicit the approval of her parents or guardians. This is due to them, and should not be put off on account of any unworthy fear or timidity.
It is customary in some circles for the parents to make the betrothal immediately known to their friends, and even to give a kind of preliminary festival at which the couple are publicly congratulated.
Good taste will dictate the avoidance of any expression of fondness between the parties when in company.
Envy and satire are ever on the look-out for subjects of ridicule, and it is well to give them no opportunity. Sentiment which is beautiful in the family circle, is often odious in society. The same rule holds good with relatives and newly-married people. Their devotion to each other should be put aside, and the claims of others upon their courtesy and time duly honored.
The amount of attention permissible before marriage, such as walking, driving, concert-going, etc., depends very much upon the customs of the place in which the persons reside. Public opinion and habit should not be invaded without some good and weighty reason, even with the most innocent purposes. It can not be desirable to provoke remark and censure, however indifferent you may feel towards its authors.
The Marriage ceremony varies with the fortunes and wishes of those interested.
In regard to the form of the rite, no specific direction are necessary; for those who are to be married by ministers, will study the form of their particular church—the Methodists their "Book of Discipline," the Episcopalians their "Book of Common Prayer," the Catholics their Ritual, etc., etc. In most cases a rehearsal of the ceremony is made in private, that the pair may the more perfectly understand the necessary forms. If the parties are to be wedded by a magistrate, the ceremony is almost nominal—it is a mere repetition of a vow. The Catholic and Episcopal forms have the most ceremony, and doubtless are the most impressive, though no more effectually marrying than the simplest form.