If a dance is proposed, it is proper to word the invitation, so as to inform the invited of the fact, thus: "Mrs. E.'s compliments for Thursday evening, to music and dancing;" or, "Mrs. E. will be pleased to see her friends, Thursday, at 8 P. M., to a dance."
When it is a public ball, or a stated soiree, the form of invitation is more formal: "Your company is solicited to a ball (or soiree, or party dansante), to be given at the Metropolitan Rooms, on the evening of Thursday, Dec. 10th, 1860." Then follow the names of the managing committee. This invitation should always be sent at least one week beforehand, in order to give ladies time to prepare their dresses.
If it is impossible from sickness, or otherwise, to accept an invitation to a private party, an excuse, or declination, should invariably be sent in on the day prior to the party, that the lady of the house may be advised as to who is coming and who is not. This is a rule too little observed, but a really necessary one, to be made the study of all to practice. For a gentleman not to attend a party, after having received an invitation, and to send in no excuse for absence, is to be construed into a designed "cut," or as an evidence of ignorance. In many cases—particularly in cities—the rule is to send in notes of acceptance of invitation; but this is a superfluous ceremony, when it is understood that silence gives consent. The form of a declination of invitation is: "Mr. and Mrs. D. regret their inability to attend upon Mrs. E.'s invitation for Thursday evening." Or, when a good excuse is desirable, say: "Mr. and Mrs. D. greatly regret that sickness (or other and prior engagements) will prevent their acceptance of Mrs. E.'s kind invitation for Thursday evening."
In all cases of invitations or declinations, the date of writing should be placed on the left hand, below.
A plain, satin surfaced note paper, should be used, and the note should be inclosed in an envelope prepared for note paper, and be directed simply: "Mr. and Mrs. D.—Present;" and if sons and daughters are invited out of the same household, separate invitations should be sent to each. If a person is worth inviting at all, it is but proper that a whole note should be inclosed. In case of husband and wife, as the law pronounces them "one," a single note will serve for both.
For visiting cards, the custom changes often. Sometimes it is a glazed card, sometimes not; sometimes a large one, sometimes a small one; sometimes with silvered edges, sometimes with golden border; sometimes with printed inscription, sometimes engraved, sometimes written in pencil. Any person designing to get up a set of visiting or wedding cards, should consult a good engraver; or, if no such person is near, should obtain from some friend, "just from the Metropolis," the "style." The usual form for visiting cards, is simply the name, no address being, given, as that belongs to business. For wedding cards, the style now in vogue is two cards in one envelop, one inscribed with the lady's maiden name, the other with the name of husband and wife, thus: "Mr. and Mrs. John Dean." If these are sent out before the wedding, and are designed as invitations to the ceremony, there is added to the last-named card the words: "At home, Thursday morning, at ten o'clock;" or, as the case may be, in the evening; or, if at church, say: "At St. John's Church, at 10 A. M., Thursday."
Letters of introduction have before been referred to. They should say: "The bearer, Mr. Horatio Green, is solicitous of your acquaintance (or friendship, or advice, or good offices, as the case may be), and I take pleasure in commending him to your favorable attention." In the envelope, along with the introductory note, should be the card of the person introduced.
Neither letters of introduction, nor cards of invitation, should be sealed, except they must be transmitted by mail, in which case reinclose the whole in another envelope for the mail.