Once in the presence of company, large or small, forget yourself so far as to become one of the number—lose yourself, your hands, and feet, and eyes, in the feeling of non-individualism, without which there really can be no real enjoyment. What is called abandon is a sense of non-individuality—a forgetfulness of self so far as to enter keenly into the spirit of the time and occasion. Give yourself no particular anxiety about your person, your demeanor, your words and ways: you can, if not perfectly "at home," have a care to demean yourself well and creditably; but do not be anxious about it, for anxiety breeds a disquiet which is fatal to enjoyment and to a good impression upon others. Good-nature is every thing in society, as in business—it overcomes many a mountain of difficulty, and achieves a success where no sternness or anxious solicitude would avail.
In regard to the formulas of introductions, cards of invitation, etc., too much stress is laid by writers upon etiquette, who leave the impression that there is a whole chapter of Greek verbs to learn before the debutant in society can become familiar with necessary forms. There is little, indeed, to cause alarm, the forms being just what any person's common-sense would dictate as being proper. We will give, in the chapter succeeding, such general observances and formulas for introductions, etc., as seem necessary to "post" our readers upon the subject.
GENERAL OBSERVANCES, INTRODUCTIONS, ETC.
Among the gentilities of life, visits hold a first place, and deserve attention. Their various occasion, their different character and purpose, their meaning are multiple, and have, therefore, some forms necessary to be preserved. We may remark that visits are classified as follows, viz.: visits of mere form and policy; visits of real friendship; visits of congratulation and of condolence; visits to give out invitations for dinner, or a dance, or an evening party; visits of state, where the party called upon is a "lion," an eminent person, etc., etc.
The general style of dress to be adopted upon all these occasions, is one of studied neatness rather than of display or of elegance. Display upon such occasions is really vulgar—it should be reserved for the gay and brilliant soiree or evening company, if it is made at all.
The time for the visit is after twelve o'clock, noon; before that hour the lady of the house is supposed to be busy at her household duties, and in getting the rooms in order for the day: never make a call before that hour.
Occupy but a brief time in your call, for you know not how much the lady of the house may have to do, nor where she may wish to go, hence it is best always to make your call brief. If strongly urged to remain longer, it would be impolite to go in haste; but, as a general thing, let fifteen or twenty minutes be the time spent in the visit. You will not then be voted a "bore," but, on the other hand, will be considered a pleasant caller—particularly if you have made yourself agreeable.
Should another person be announced or enter on a visit before your own visit is finished, it is but proper for you immediately to retire, unless you may be intimate with both the host and the new-comer, and are invited to remain. Otherwise be not precipitate to leave, but politely withdraw, for you do not know what "confidences" there may be to be talked over.