Bachelors haul—An heiress.
Faithful to beauty’s charms and grace,
The form of loveliness I trace;
But ev’ry blemish I detect,
And point out every defect.
Though long a fav’rite with the fair,
I sometimes fill them with despair.
But still I’m consulted ev’ry day
By the old and young—the sad, the gay;
All fly to me, so fam’d for truth,
Uninfluenced by age or youth;
For I neither flatter nor defame;
So now, I think, you’ll guess my name.
A looking-glass.
Why is a man for whom nothing is good enough like a hyena galloping? Because he’s a fast-hideous (fastidious) beast.
Why is riding fast up a steep ascent like a little dog’s female puppy suffering from the rheumatism? Because it is a gal-pup-ill (gall(o)p up (h)ill.
What is a dogma—not a dog ma—a dogma? An opinion laid down with a snarl.
Why is a turnpike like a dead dog’s tail? Because it stops a waggin.
Ah! but how did the sandwiches get there? Because Ham was sent there, and his followers mustard (mustered) and bre(a)d.
Why is the Hebrew persuasion the best of all persuasions? Because it is one that admits of no gammon.
What is the most ancient mention made of a banking transaction? When Pharaoh got a check on the Red Sea Bank, which was crossed by Moses.