Give a good definition for cant? Spirits of whine!
In what respect do modern customs differ materially from ancient ones? Formerly they were hewers of wood and drawers of water; now we have drawers of wood and ewers of water!
Why does a man who has been all his life a hewer of wood, that is, a wood-cutter, never come home to dinner? Because he’s not only bre(a)d there, but he’s always a chop(p)in’ the wood!
Why should the poet have expected the woodman to “spare that tree?” Because he thought he was a good feller!
What did Jack Frost say when he kissed the violet? Wilt thou? And it wilted.
What trees has fire no effect upon? Ashes, as, when burned, they’re ashes still.
If a tree were to break a window, what would the window say? Tre-mend-us!
And when is a charade like a fir-tree? When you get a deal bored (board) from its length!
What did the rose say to the sun? Blow me!
Ah! but what did the sun say to the rose? You be blowed!