Why is a fit of coughing like the falls of Niagara? Because it is a catarrh-act (cataract).
If Tom owes Bob money and gives him a blow in the eye, why is that a satisfactory settlement? Because he gives his mark in black and white, a note of hand, and paid at sight.
Why are your lips always at variance? Because words are frequently passing between them.
Why is a butcher’s cart like his boots? Because he carries his calves there.
Why is a thief in a garret like an honest man? Because he is above doing a bad action.
Why are bachelors like natives of Ceylon? Because they are single he’s (Cingalese).
When is a window like a star? When it is a skylight.
What constellation most resembles an empty fire-place? The Great Bear (grate bare).
Why is a sick Jew like a diamond ring? Because he is a Jew ill (jewel).
Why are Irishmen like the Pope? Because they make bulls.