"Read that again, suh! read it once moh, so's de lady kin ketch de full solemnity ob de meanin'. I'se been married befoh."
* * *
The lawyer for the defense, in the damage suit, asked the witness who had seen the plaintive struck by the automobile, how far the victim was thrown by the impact.
"Fifteen feet, six and three-quarter inches," was the instant response.
"You seem to be very exact in your figures," exclaimed the lawyer sarcastically. "How does that happen?"
"I guessed some fool lawyer would ask me," the witness answered, "and I measured the distance."
PRECOCITY
The playwright rushed up to the critic at the club.
"I've had a terrible misfortune," he announced. "My little three-year-old boy got at my new play, and tore it all to pieces."
"Extraordinary that a child so young should be able to read," said the critic.