"I ain't. But if I don't git there 'fore paw, he'll gimme the lickin'."
* * *
The little lad sat on the curb howling lustily. A passer-by halted to ask what was the matter. The boy explained between howls that his father had given him a licking. The sympathizer attempted consolation:
"But you must be a little man, and not cry about it. All fathers have to punish their children sometimes."
The lad ceased howling long enough to snort contemptuously, and to explain:
"Huh! my paw ain't like other boys' paws. He plays the bass drum in the band!"
PUNS
"What is your name?" demanded the judge of the prisoner in the Municipal Court.
"Locke Smith," was the answer, and the man made a bolt for the door.