ATHLETICS
The sister spoke admiringly to the collegian who was calling on her after field day, at which she had been present.
"And how they did applaud when you broke that record!"
Her little brother, who overheard, sniffed indignantly.
"Pa didn't applaud me for the one I broke," he complained. "He licked me."
AUTHORS
A woman lion-hunter entertained a dinner party of distinguished authors. These discoursed largely during the meal, and bored one another and more especially their host, who was not literary. To wake himself up, he excused himself from the table with a vague murmur about opening a window, and went out into the hall. He found the footman sound asleep in a chair. He shook the fellow, and exclaimed angrily:
"Wake up! You've been listening at the keyhole."