The clerk groaned. The judge himself intervened: "What is your name?"
"Your Honor, it is Ottiwell Wood. I spell it: O double t, i double u, e double l, double u, double o, d."
SPINSTERHOOD
The old colored mammy took advantage of a wedding announcement to question her mistress, who remained a spinster still though approaching middle age.
"When is you gwine to git married, missy?"
"I don't know, mammy," was the thoughtful reply. "Really, I don't think I'll ever get married."
A note of sadness in the speaker's voice moved the old woman to attempt philosophical consolation:
"Well, they do say as how ole maids am the happies' kind after they quits strugglin'."
SPITE
The faithful old employee asked for a day off. The request was granted, with an inquiry as to what he intended to do on his holiday.