WHALES
At the time when petroleum began to be used instead of whale oil for burning in lamps, a kindly old lady was deeply perturbed by the change.
"What," she wanted to know, "will the poor whales do now?"
WHISKERS
An elderly man was on his way home by train from a session of three days at a convention of his political party. (This was antedating the era of prohibition.) The man's personal preferences had been gratified in the nominations at the convention, and he had celebrated in a way only too common in the bibulous period of our history. His absorption in other things and of other things had led him to neglect shaving throughout the three days. Now, as he chanced to move his hand over his chin, it encountered the long growth of white bristles, and he was aroused to a realization of his neglect. To determine just how badly he needed a shave, the elderly gentleman opened his handbag, and fumbled in it for a mirror. In his confused condition, he seized on a silver-backed hair-brush of the same set, pulled it forth, and held it up to his face with the bristles toward him. He studied these with great care, groaned and muttered:
"I look worse than I thought for. Whatever will Sarah Ann say!"
WIDOW
One of the ladies assembled at the club was describing the wedding she had just attended:
"And then, just as Frank and the widow started up the aisle to the altar, every light in the church went out."
The listeners exclaimed over the catastrophe.