RETROACTIVE

"You know you should love your neighbor as yourself."

"But the trouble is, when I try to do that, I always end by hating myself."

* * *

Pupil: "What I want to know is, am I a bass or a baritone?"

Teacher: "No—you're not."

* * *

APOLOGIZING

"Oh! Are you really a mind-reader?"

"Yes! I am."