Sandy had gone to the station to see his cousin off.
"Mac," he said, "ye micht like to leave me a bob or twa tae drink ye a safe journey."
"Mon, I canna," was the reply. "A' my spare cash I gie tae my auld mither."
"That's strange! Your mither said you niver gave her anything!"
"Well, if I dinna gie my auld mither anything, what sort of chance d'ye think you've got?"
* * *
ART AND NATURE
Husband: "What was that you were playing, my dear?"
Wife: "Did you like it?"