"Er—have you kissed the bride?" he asked by way of introduction.
"Not lately," replied the gloomy one, with a faraway expression.
* * *
"Why did you take Meyerbeer off the dinner card?"
"People kept thinking it was something to drink."
* * *
A well-known admiral—a stickler for uniform—stopped opposite a very portly sailor whose medal-ribbon was an inch or so too low down. Fixing the man with his eye, the admiral asked: "Did you get that medal for eating, my man?" On the man replying "No, sir," the admiral rapped out: "Then why the deuce do you wear it on your stomach?"
* * *
First Little Girl: What's your last name, Annie?
Second Little Girl: Don't know yet; I ain't married.