Mother: "Hush! You two children are always quarrelling. Why can't you agree once in a while?"

Georgia: "We do agree, mamma. Edith wants the largest apple and so do I."

* * *

She: Jack is in love with you.

Her: Nonsense!

She: That's what I said when I heard it.

Her: How dared you!

* * *

Professor (endeavoring to impress on class the definition of cynic): Young man, what would you call a man who pretends to know everything?