"I have that, mum," replied the prisoner in heartfelt tones. "Believe me, the next job I pull, this baby wears gloves."
* * *
A LEVEL-HEADED CAR
Irate Motorist: "Say, this darned car won't climb a hill! You said it was a fine machine!"
Dealer: "I said: 'On the level it's a good car.'"
* * *
SUSPICIOUS
It was while on manœuvres in rural England, and a soldier was being tried for the shooting of a chicken on prohibited ground.
"Look here, my man," said the commanding officer to the farmer who brought the accusation, "are you quite certain that this is the man who shot your bird? Will you swear to him?"