Formerly, Widows considered it Imperative to be married in Widow's Colours, grey or mauve, and that white was forbidden wear; but it is no longer so regarded, and a widow may and does wear white or cream on her wedding-day—not exactly a maiden bridal dress, as a tinge of colour is introduced. The larger number still regard pale grey or pale heliotrope as more suitable on the occasion of a second marriage, and doubtless this is so when a widow is not in her first youth. A widow may not, of course, wear a bridal veil; she must wear a hat or toque, white or coloured, as she pleases. She can have a bouquet, not of white flowers only, but mauve or pink, or violets, according to choice. It is quite permissible to have a full choral service, and for the church in which the ceremony is performed to be decorated with plants and flowers, but wedding favours should not be given to the guests at its conclusion.
When a Widow has a reception the Newly Married Pair should receive their Guests standing together. The bride's mother, or near relative, could assist them in receiving. If a luncheon is to be given, they should lead the way to the dining-room, and sit at the head of the table, side by side; but if a reception tea is given, the guests might be sent in at the tea hour—that is to say, told that tea is going on, and the bride and bridegroom could follow later should the numbers be too great to admit of all going into the tea room at the same time.
It is quite in Order for a Widow to have a Wedding Cake, but it should not be decorated with orange blossoms or with white flowers, merely with icing and ornamentations. The display of presents at the marriage of a widow is, as a rule, a very restricted one. The bridegroom and the bridegroom's family being the principal donors, the presents are seldom exhibited. The exception is when a widow has made many new friends, and has received wedding presents from them. Presents, when made to a widow having a house of her own, are expected to be of substantial value, and there is a general reluctance felt to offering her trifles, even if expensive ones, such as a girl-bride would appreciate; not so a married lady of social standing.
On arriving at the House where the wedding luncheon or reception is to be held, the gentlemen should leave their hats in the hall. The ladies should not remove their bonnets or hats at a wedding luncheon or reception, neither should the bridesmaids do so.
Gentlemen should take off their gloves at wedding luncheons, but it is optional whether ladies do so or not.
At receptions it is optional with both ladies and gentlemen whether they take off their gloves or not.
The guests who have not already had an opportunity of speaking to the bride and bridegroom, on being ushered into the drawing-room, where the company assembles, should shake hands with them, having first gone through that ceremony with the host and hostess, if they have not already done so.