The Responsibilities of a Bridegroom from a pecuniary point of view commence from the moment of his engagement. He must at once present the bride-elect with an engagement ring. A man of even moderate wealth finds no difficulty in choosing and purchasing a handsome ring costing from £50 to £100; but a poor man, possessing but a small income, is often put to more expense than he can conveniently afford in the matter of an engagement ring. He knows all the members of the bride's family will sit in judgment upon it if it is but a modest gift worth about £10, which is quite as much as he feels he is justified in spending; he knows that both it and himself will be regarded as very mean, or as conveying a not very inspiriting prospect of days to come. The engagement ring worn on the bride's finger after marriage is a lasting memento, and if a poor one she will not be proud of it—neither will he. Rich men take the brides to choose engagement rings, expense being no object to them; but poor men cannot do this, as the choice might fall on gems beyond their means, therefore they make the choice themselves, according to the position of the families they are about to enter. If the standing is above their own, from a money point of view, the engagement rings have to be chosen in accordance with the jewels worn by members of such families, and a bridegroom would thus spend £40 at least on an engagement ring suitable to a lady so placed. On the other hand, when men with small incomes marry the daughters of parents of a similar position to their own, the engagement rings given are not costly ones, and a ten-pound note, or even less, would cover the cost of these binding tokens. The wedding rings are within the means of all bridegrooms, be they ever so poor.
During the Engagement the question of presents to the brides-elect is never absent from the thoughts of their bridegrooms. The wealthy please themselves and their brides by giving costly jewels, which are often chosen by the brides themselves in company with their bridegrooms. This is very delightful shopping, but it does not fall to the lot of the great majority. Men of moderate means give presents of moderate value and few in number; they are not bound by etiquette during their engagements to give any jewellery if their incomes do not warrant this outlay; but a man must have very little money to go upon if he cannot contrive to give a bracelet or necklet or some such trinket to the girl he is about to marry.
To give Presents to the Bridesmaids is another of the obligations of bridegrooms. Here again, the wealthy exercise their generosity and good taste with the concurrence of their brides, who assist them in the choice of suitable presents in articles of jewellery. These average £5 and upwards for each bridesmaid, which bring it to a good total when the bridesmaids are numerous. The point that affects the generosity of bridegrooms, however, is not how much they ought to spend on these presents, but rather, how little may be spent upon them with due consideration for the fitness of things, viz. the position of the bridesmaids. Two sovereigns would be a reasonable sum for a man of small means to spend on each gift to the bridesmaid.
The Bridal Bouquet and the Bridesmaids' Bouquets come next on the list of expenses a bridegroom defrays. Rich men spend liberally in this direction, but average sums to give to meet ordinary incomes are two guineas to one guinea for a bride's bouquet, and five and twenty to fifteen shillings each for the bridesmaids' bouquets.
The Fees connected with the Ceremony are strictly the province of the bridegroom to defray. If a marriage is by licence, he pays the cost, which in town amounts to £2 2s. 6d., and in the country from £2 12s. 6d. to £3 3s. The fee to the vicar of the church where the marriage is to be solemnised varies from £1 1s. to £5 5s., oftener £1 1s. than not with the majority of bridegrooms with moderate incomes, the exception being £5 5s. The minor fees are very trifling that a bridegroom is expected to pay. He pays the organist for playing a wedding march at the conclusion of the service, if it is not a choral one; the bell-ringers look to him for their fee, as do the vergers, etc. Thus a bridegroom pays for what is absolutely necessary at the marriage ceremony only, and very little besides.