On the "at home" day, calls should be made from three to six, or from four to six. The first comers should leave before the afternoon tea hour and should limit their call according to the degree of intimacy existing, remaining from a quarter of an hour to an hour, as the case may be.
A Hostess or her Daughter should pour out the Tea on these "at home" days when tea is not served in the dining-room as at "at homes," which should be done when the number of visitors is very considerable.
The popularity of a hostess is tested on these "at home" days by the number of visitors who call during the afternoon, and when "at home" days are not a success, socially speaking, she should discontinue them after a certain time, and should substitute an occasional "at home."
It depends not a little on the social standing of the lady who has an "at home" day and upon the locality in which she lives, as to whether the "at home" day is a failure or the reverse. In the outlying districts of town it has its advantages, when to make a call amounts to almost a journey, and when acquaintances are few in the immediate neighbourhood. Again, it has its advantages when ladies are much occupied during the week, and when their time is given up to an engrossing occupation, charitable or artistic, at home or away from home, literary or scientific, at studios, museums and public institutions, etc., work undertaken for their own amusement, profit, or advancement, or for the benefit of others. To these ladies an "at home" day is a convenience. One day in the week is all they can allow themselves apart from their important engagements, and to them quiet privacy and leisure are indispensable. Fashionable ladies consider an "at home" day to be a great tax upon their time and inclinations. Their engagements are too numerous to admit of giving up one whole afternoon in every week on the chance of people calling. Not only longstanding but impromptu engagements preclude this sacrifice. It would be a breach of politeness not to be at home to callers on an "at home" day, and many things might occur to necessitate absence from home on that particular afternoon. If, however, absence is unavoidable, a relative might take the place of the hostess on the "at home" day in question.
The people who thoroughly enjoy "at home" days are those who have more time on their hands than they know what to do with. The few calls they have to make are soon made, the few friends they have to see are soon seen, occupation they have none, and they are grateful for the opportunity "at home" days offer of meeting their friends and finding a hostess at home.
CHAPTER XXI
COLONIAL ETIQUETTE
Generally speaking, etiquette is followed in the colonies and in India by English men and women very much as in the mother country as regards its principles, rules, and observances. One marked difference occurs in the hours of calling, it is true, they being regulated by climate. In hot climates, the early morning hours, before noon, and late evening hours, after sunset, are, according to the fashion of the place, the chosen hours for calling; but in more temperate climes—resembling our own—the afternoon hours are, as with us, the hours for calling. Again, the rule that residents should call upon new-comers, whether they be visitors of other residents or intending residents, holds equally good both in civilian and military circles alike.
In all colonies and dependencies "Government House" is the centre to which all society gravitates—that is to say, that all new-comers, whether they are to become permanent or temporary residents, providing their social position warrants the action, hasten to make known their arrival by writing their names and addresses in the visitors' book kept at each Government House for the purpose. The object of doing this is to be received at Government House, and thus to obtain an entrance into the society of the place. What follows upon this social observance—it hardly merits the name of civility, such calls being actuated by self-interest in the first instance—depends upon a variety of circumstances, the position of the caller, and whether the stay is to be permanent or temporary, whether introductions are brought or not, and so on. The invitations extended to them are regulated accordingly. They may be limited to afternoon "at homes"; or receptions, dinners, and dances may be included; or a visit to the summer residence of the Governor and his wife may also be reckoned amongst invitations, as this latter is not an unusual display of hospitality accorded to certain individuals.