Dryden.
It is presumed by philosophers, that the most important study for the improvement of mankind is Man; and this knowledge cannot be more profitably acquired, than in perusing those true examples of human life, recorded in the vicissitudes and incidents which biography presents impartially to the mind, with the direction of truth for their application to the purposes of our own lives and actions, for imitation or abhorrence.
In this view, however elevated or depressed the hero of the piece may be, some useful instruction may still be gained, as we find ourselves more or less interested in his transactions. In relating the splendid actions of ambitious heroes, little is offered that can be adopted or imitated by the most numerous class of society; but in detailing the events concomitant with the most miserable penury, a lesson is produced fraught with wisdom, the chief purport of which is to show in what estimation riches are in the eyes of God, who wisely and equally condemns to human distress, the miser that scrapes, and the spendthrift that scatters.
Avarice, the most degrading of all passions to the understanding, and the most deleterious to our happiness, exhibits a humiliating picture of human nature, and most impressively illustrates the undeniable truth, that wealth cannot grant ease to its possessor; but, on the contrary, fills him with the most alarming fears for the safety of this imaginary good, and naturally suggests the most consolatory reflection to forbearing poverty, whose unequal share in the distribution of wealth is more than counterbalanced by the comparison.
With this view is here presented to the public, the following exact particulars of the most remarkable instances of the misery which is ever attendant upon the mind cursed with the insanity of saving. It appears by the parish register, that Mr. Daniel Dancer was born in the year 1716, and was the eldest of four children, three sons and a daughter. His father lived on Harrow-Weald Common, near Harrow on the Hill, where he possessed property to a very considerable amount, and which his son, by the most determined and whimsical abstemiousness, increased to upwards of three thousand pounds per annum.
The years of his minority probably passed unnoticed, as nothing is recorded of him in his youth that might indicate the singularity and propensity to save, which so peculiarly distinguished his maturer years; but a detail of his actions is now offered to the world, as the most perfect examples of saving knowledge, and how misery may be multiplied by self-denial, for the purpose of accumulating useless riches.
Mr. Dancer, as before observed, had a sister, whose disposition to reserve perfectly accorded with his own; and, as they lived together many years, their stories are necessarily connected, and will furnish, in the sequel, the most melancholy and degrading instance of the infirmity and folly of human nature.
The daily appearance of this lady abroad, when it happened that necessity or condescension drew her out, exhibited the most perfect resemblance of one of the witches in former times: for it is certain, that had not philosophy, and the extension of knowledge, long ago banished the belief in witchcraft, Miss Dancer had certainly been taken up by the witch-finders, and most probably burned for her acquaintance with poverty, which made her appear in such a questionable form, that even the sagacious Matthew Hopkins, witch-hunter to King James, might have mistaken this bundle of rags for a correspondent with familiar spirits; for her appearance might, with justice, be pronounced not to be of this fashionable world.
Her accoutrements were usually a mixture of male with female paraphernalia, tied round with a raveling of hemp; for even in this part of attire she studied how to make one cord last long by untwisting it to make it go farther; and, thus equipped, she would sally forth, armed with a broomstick or pitchfork, to check the progress of such daring marauders as had the audacity to intrude upon her brother's grounds; on which occasion her neighbours observed she had more the appearance of a walking dunghill than one of the fair sex.
The miserable hovel in which this parsimonious and uniform pair took up their earthly residence was perfectly of a piece with themselves. Like Drake's ship, it had suffered so much by repair, and still wanted so much, that a bit of the original building could scarcely be distinguished by the most diligent antiquarian; for there was not one article of moveables which can be mentioned, but had, at one time or another, been nailed to some part of the mansion, either to keep out the weather, or, which Mr. and Miss Dancer deemed more troublesome, the neighbouring feline species, which, strange to declare, often ventured into this house of famine, lured, no doubt, by the inviting scent of the vermin within, some of which species often had the temerity to dispute the antiquity of their right of possession; for it cannot be supposed that this saving pair could think of the extravagance of keeping a cat, who daily denied themselves the natural call of appetite.