In course of time was born, Mother Shipton, which proved the conclusion of her miserable life. But her entry into the world was such a terror to all that beheld her, that several credible person then presented, have several times confessed that they have never beheld the like: such strange and horrible noises, that the persons about her could scarcely find so much courage in themselves as to continue in the place where she was; much less when they beheld the strange and unparalleled physiognomy of the child, which was so misshapen, that it is altogether impossible to express it fully in words, or the most ingenious to describe her in colours, though many persons of eminent qualifications in that art have often attempted it, but without success; therefore, according to the best observations of her, take this true, though not full, account of her features and body. She was of an indifferent height, but very morose and big-boned; her head very long, with very great goggling, but sharp and fiery eyes; her nose of an incredible and unproportionable length, having in it many crooks and turnings, adorned with many strange pimples of divers colours, as red and blue mixed, which, like vapours of brimstone, gave such a lustre to the affrighted spectators in the dead time of the night, that one of them confessed several times, that her nurse needed no other light to assist her in the performance of her duty: her cheeks were of a black swarthy complexion, much like a mixture of the black yellow jaundice, wrinkled, shrivelled and very hollow; insomuch that as the ribs of her body, so the impression of her teeth was easily to be discerned though both sides of her face, answering one side to the other, like the notches in a valley, excepting only two of them, which stood quite out of her mouth, in imitation of the tusks of a wild boar, or tooth of an elephant, a thing so strange in an infant, that no age can parallel: her chin was of the same complexion as her face, turning up her mouth; and shrieks being heard from an unknown cause, as if there had been more than an ordinary correspondence between her teeth and it. Her neck was so strangely distorted, that her right shoulder was forced to be a supporter to her hood, it being propped up by her chin, so that the right side of her body stood lower than her left, like the reeling of a ship that sails with a side wind; again, her left side was quite turned the contrary way, as if her body had been screwed together piece after piece, and not rightly placed; her left shoulder hanging just perpendicular to the bottom of the back. Her legs were very crooked and misshapen; the toes of her feet looking towards her left side, so that it was very hard for any person (could she have stood up) to guess which road she intended to steer her course, because she never could look that way she resolved to go.
After she had remained under the care of the nurse for a space of a month or thereabouts, she was put out to nurse at the charge of the parish to a poor woman hard by in the town, where she continued for the space of half a year or thereabouts, the house not being in any way disturbed at all, till at last her nurse having been abroad with the chief of the parishioners, either to procure something of their charity for her subsistence and the maintenance of her family, or else to fetch her money from the overseers of the poor for nursing the child; and returning home to her house she found her door wide open, at which she, much amazed and affrighted, ran to her next neighbour and acquainted her she was quite undone, for her house was broken open and robbed. The man immediately rose from his dinner, accompanied by his wife and also a labouring man. Approaching the door, they endeavoured to enter, but before they could all get in a very strange noise was heard in the next room to them, as if it had been a concert of cats, which so affrighted them that they all ran towards the door, endeavouring to get out again, but in vain; for at their approach there were great long yokes put about their necks, in the form of a cross or turnstile, so that they could not possibly return; and while they were thus striving and crying out for help, their yokes at last fell off, and a staff was laid upon the men’s shoulders, upon which an old woman presented herself, sometimes hanging by the heels and sometimes by the toes. These sports continued for the space of half an hour, so that the poor men were never more tired nor less pleased at anything than in being constrained to humour this piece of activity.
After they had got a discharge from this their new employment, the house being now quiet, and they had a little recovered their senses, missing the woman they ran further into the house, where they found them in a room in which stood a pair of yarwingles made in the form of a cross. The two women were forced to take the four ends thereof in their hands, and so danced round about one after the other until they were almost tired to death, carrying upon their shoulders an imp in the likeness of a monkey or ape, which hung close upon them; and whenever they slacked their pace, these spirits pricked them forward, continuing this for a considerable time, till at length they vanished quite out of sight, leaving these poor wretches no less weary than astonished, and who, perceiving themselves at liberty, ran to several of the neighbours, acquainting them with what had happened, and causing great amazement amongst them; and immediately the whole town was in an uproar. The minister and several of the most eminent of the inhabitants consulted together upon the occasion what to do in the business; some of them threatening the informers, others thinking they were distracted, but at last they resolved to go to the house; yet when they came near there arose a dispute who should first enter, which at last was agreed upon; and the parson, with his congregation attending him in the rear, entered the door quivering and shaking, whereupon there was suddenly a noise like the treading of people on stones, though the house had no other but an earthen floor; and very sweet musical harmony of several notes was heard, and all presently vanished again. The minister and inhabitants entered, and searching the house, missed the child; one of them looking up the chimney, saw the cradle wonderfully hanging up, three yards high, without any support; this was as strangely conveyed down again. They encouraged the nurse, left her in the house (though affrighted), and departed.
Mother Shipton’s nurse was, after this, sometimes in great perplexity, not knowing what was become of her for days together; but when she was in her greatest scare after her, she saw her oftentimes drop suddenly through the roof of the house. Going out, upon her return she many times found her child stretched out to a prodigious length, taller than the tallest living, and at other times as much shortened. The poor woman’s work for the major part, was only to rectify what these spirits disordered about her house. The chairs and stools would frequently march up stairs and down, and they usually played at bowls with the trenches and dishes: sometimes at dinner the meat would be removed before she could touch a bit; which things, as they much troubled the nurse, so they gave great satisfaction to Mother Shipton, as it appeared by her monstrous smiles. Now and then, to pacify her nurse, when she saw her much vexed, she would say, “Be contented; there is nothing here that will harm you.”
To be short, the nurse was so continually terrified by these apparitions, that she resolved to complain to the parish; and, having made known the truth of what had passed, in commiseration to the almost distracted woman, they removed Mother Shipton to another place, where she was put to school, being of an age fit for it.
By this time Mother Shipton was grown a lusty girl, and as she was left to the care of the parish, so the parish took care that she should have the common sort of learning, that is to say, reading and writing, bestowed upon her. Coming to school her mistress began to instruct her as other children, beginning with three or four letters at first; but to the amazement and astonishment of her mistress, she exactly pronounced every letter in the alphabet without teaching; her mistress then showed her a primer, which she read at first sight as well as any in the school, and so on with every book that was shown her.
As this produced wonder in her schoolmistress, so it caused hatred and envy in her comrades; some flouted her for her monstrous long nose, others endeavoured to beat her, and all strove to harm her; but she valued them not, revenging herself on every one of them that intended her harm. Some were pinched, and yet no hand seen that did it; others struck speechless when they were about to say their lessons, not being able to utter a word; none escaped from being served one scurvy trick or other. This so enraged the parents of these children, looking on Mother Shipton as the sole cause thereof, that she was discharged from the school, and so left to the wide world. The singularities of Mother Shipton now began to be talked of everywhere; she was often seen, when alone, to laugh heartily; at other times to talk to herself; uttering very strange riddles, which occasioned some of the more sober sort to converse with her, receiving such strange things from her, as required a long study to find out the meaning.
Never a day passed, wherein she related not something very remarkable, and that required the most serious consideration. And now it was that people flocked far and near (her fame was so great), to be resolved of their doubts, all returning wonderfully satisfied in the explanations she gave to their questions.
And now Mother Shipton, beginning to grow famous in the world for her notable judgment in things to come, there resorted to her house a number of people of all sorts, both old and young, rich and poor, especially young maidens, who have always a great desire to know when they shall be married, as also, what manner of husbands they shall have, to which she gave such satisfactory answers, both for the person and time, that no sooner could a young maid get into her teens, but she would presently trot to Mother Shipton’s, to be resolved of her doubt. Now though she was not mercenary herself, but refused great gifts when proffered unto her; yet did she keep a young wench, who, rather than fail, if they forgot to open their purse to her, would remember to open her mouth to them, and tell them, that neither Dame Shipton nor she could be maintained with thanks, but that the belly required meat to feed it; and that it was money that made the mare to go. One day, there came a certain young heir thither, whose father was sick, to be resolved by her whether he should live or die; but Mother Shipton could by no means be wrought upon to tell him anything; whereupon he proffered the maid great store of money, if she could by any means persuade the dame to fulfil his request; the wench, greedy of money, promised him fair; that if he would come the next morning, he would be certain to be resolved; in the meantime, she importuned her dame with the most cunning rhetoric that she could invent; but she was deaf to all entreaties, and would by no means be induced thereto, whereupon the wench resolved with herself, rather than lose the money, to give him an answer of her own invention; when the next morning came she performed her part in these words:—
“The grave provided hath a room:
Prepare for death, thy hour is come.”