| [PART I]—IN GENERAL. | |
| [CHAPTER I]—By Way of Introduction | [17] |
| The Augean Stables of Therapeutics—The Remedy—Reason for Absence of Dignified Literary Style—DiplomaMills—“All but Holy”—Dr. Geo. H. Simmons’ Opinion—American Medical Association Not Tyrannical—Therapeuticsa Deplorable Muddle. | |
| [CHAPTER II]—Graft and Failurephobia | [25] |
| The Commercial Spirit—Commercialism in Medicine—Stock Company Medical Colleges—Graft in Medicines,Drugs and Nostrums—Encyclopedia Graft—“Get-Rich-Quick” Propositions—Paradoxes in Characterof Shysters—Money Madness—Professional Failurephobia—The Fortunate Few and the Unfortunate Many—A Cause of Quackery—The Grafter’sHerald—The World’s Standard—Solitary Confinement—The Prisoner’s Dream—Working up a Cough—SituationAppalling Among St. Louis Physicians—A Moral Pointed. | |
| [CHAPTER III]—Why Quacks Flourish | [37] |
| American Public Generally Intelligent—But Densely Ignorant in Important Particulars—Cotton Matherand Witchcraft—A.B.s, A.M.s, M.D.s and Ph.D.s Espousing Christian Science, Chiropractics and Osteopathy—Gullibilityof the College Bred—The Ignorant Suspicious of New Things—The Educated Man’s Creed—Dearth of Therapeutic Knowledge bythe Laity—Is the Medical Profession to Blame?—Physician’s Arguments Controvertible—Host of IncompetentsAmong the Regular Physicians—Report of Committee on Medical Colleges—The “Big Doctors”—DocBooze—The “Leading Doctor”—Osler’s Drug Nihilism—The X-Ray Graft. | |
| [CHAPTER IV]—Turbid Therapeutics | [51] |
| An Astounding Array of Therapeutic Systems—Diet—Water—Optics—Hemotherapy—ConsumptionCures—Placebos—Inconsistencies and Contradictions—Osler’s Opinion of Appendicitis—Fair Statement ofLimitations in Medicine Desirable. | |
| [CHAPTER V]—The Expert Witness and Proprietary Medicines | [57] |
| The “Great Nerve Specialist”—The Professional Witness a Jonah—The “Railway Spine”—Is it Lackof Fairness and Honesty or Lack of Skill and Learning?—Destruction of Fine Herds of Cattle Without Compensation—Koch’s Dictum andDenial—Koch’s Tuberculin—The Serum Tribe—Stupendous Sale of Nostrums—Druggist’s Arguments—Use ofProprietary Medicines Stimulates Sale of Nostrums. | |
| [CHAPTER VI]—Faith Cure and Graft in Surgery | [62] |
| Suggestive Therapeutics Chief Stock in Trade—Advice of a Medical College President—Disease PreventionRather than Cure—Hygienic Living—The Medical Pretender—“Dangerous Diagnosis” Graft—GreatFlourish of Trumpets—No “Starving Time” for Him—“Big Operations”—Mutilating the HumanBody—Dr. C. W. Oviatt’s Views—Dr. Maurice H. Richardson’s Incisive Statements—Crying Need forReform—Surgery that is Useless, Conscienceless and for Purely Commercial Ends—Spirit of Surgical Graft Especially in the West—Fee-Splitting andCommissions—A Nation of “Dollar-Chasers”—The Public’s Share of Responsibility—Senn’s Advice—The“Surgical Conscience.” | |
| [PART II]—OSTEOPATHY. | |
| [CHAPTER VII]—Some Definitions and Histories | [79] |
| Romantic Story of Osteopathy’s Origin—An Asthma Cure—Headache Cured by Plowlines—Log Rollingto Relieve Dysentery—Osteopathy is Drugless Healing—Osteopathy is Manual Treatment—Liberty ofBlood, Nerves and Arteries—Perfect Skeletal Alignment and Tonic, Ligamentous, Muscular and FacialRelaxation—Andrew T. Still in 1874—Kirksville, Mo., as a Mecca—American School of Osteopathy—ThePromised Golden Stream of Prosperity—The “Mossbacks”—“Who’s Who in Osteopathy.” | |
| [CHAPTER VIII]—The Osteopathic Propaganda | [88] |
| Wonderful Growth Claimed to Prove Merit—Osteopathy is Rational Physio-Therapy—Growth is inExact Proportion to Advertising Received—Booklets and Journals for Gratuitous Distribution—OsteopathyLanguishes or Flourishes by Patent Medicine Devices—Circular Letter from Secretary of American Osteopathic Association—Boosts by Governorsand Senators—The Especial Protege of Authors—Mark Twain—Opie Reed—Emerson Hough—Sam Jones—The OrificialSurgeon—The M.D. Seeking Job as “Professor”—The Lure of “Honored Doctor” with “Big Income”—No Competition. | |
| [CHAPTER IX]—The Principles and Practice of Osteopathy | [97] |
| Infallible, Touch-the-Button System that Always Cured—Indefinite Movements and Manipulations—Wealth of UndevelopedScientific Facts—Osteopaths Taking M.D. Course—The Standpatter and the Drifter—The “Lesionist”—“BoneSetting”—“Inhibiting a Center”—Chiropractics—“Finest Anatomists in the World”—How to CureTorticollis, Goitre and Enteric Troubles—A Successful Osteopath—Timid Old Maids—Osteopathic Philanthropy. | |
| [CHAPTER X]—Osteopathy as Related to Some Notorious Fakes | [111] |
| Sure Shot Rheumatism Cure—Regular Practitioner’s Discomfiture—Medicines Alone Failed to Cure Rheumatism—OsteopathyRelieves Rheumatic and Neuralgic Pains—“Move Things”—“Pop” Stray CervicalVertebræ—Find Something Wrong and Put it Right—Terrible Neck-Wrenching, Bone-Twisting Ordeal. | |
| [CHAPTER XI]—Tapeworms and Gallstones | [119] |
| Plug-hatted Faker—Frequency of Tapeworms—Some Tricks Exposed—How the Defunct Worm wasPassed—Rubber Near-Worm—New Gallstone Cure—Relation to Osteopathy—Perfect, Self-Oiling, “Autotherapeutic”Machine—Touch the Button—The Truth About the Consumption and Insanity Cures. | |
| [THE MORAL TO THE TALE] | [125] |
| Honesty—Plain Dealing—Education. |
PART ONE
IN GENERAL
Quacks and Grafters