In Order hereto, I have travell’d in three Parts of the World; namely, Europe, Africa, and America; and tho’ Wickedness reigns in all Parts of the World, yet must I needs say, that it is not so predominate in any Place as in England, Wales, Scotland, Ireland, and Holland; where it is as hard to find Religion, Honesty and Virtue walk Hand in Hand, as it was for Diogenes to find an honest Woman in Athens. This Dearth of good Manners oblig’d me, with the abovesaid Philosopher to turn Cynick; and if by these Lucubrations, I can so far put Folly and Vice, out of Countenance, as to reclaim a wicked Age, it is all the Author desires for the Fatigue of taking a Pilgrimage, by Land and Sea, of above Eleven Thousand Miles, which is more than half the Circumference of the whole Earth.
THE
Comical Pilgrim,
OR,
Travels thro’ England.
As London is the Metropolis, or capital City in the World, for Pride, Luxury, and all other Vices; I was very curious of making some Observations on them. In Order hereto, I frequented several Taverns, where was nothing but Drunkenness, and young Rakes vomiting about the Room, and in their Bacchanalian Frolicks (which made them think, with Copernicus, the Earth turn’d round) breaking Pipes and Glasses, to inflame a great Reckoning to a larger Sum. I also haunted Jelly-Houses, where was no other Diversion, than seeing proud conceited Coxcombs eating Jellies, with a gilded Pap-Spoon, for Provocation to venerial Sports; which by lighting on a Fire-Ship, might bring them to the Charge and Misery of Pills, Bolusses, Electuaries, and Diet-Drinks; so that these gallanting Stallions, need no other Injunction of Penance, from the most rigid Confessor: And at every common Gaming-House about Town, the Gamesters are as lavishing of their Oaths and Curses, as they are at the Groom Porter’s. One is cursing the Dice, another biting his Thumbs, and another scratching where it doth not itch, whilst others are flourishing their Swords in the midst of twenty G⸺d⸺s, to have their lost Money again.
Think I to myself, the frequenting of these Places, will return to no better Account towards a Reformation of bad Manners, than if a Man should go to a Bawdy-House, to keep out of ill Company. So having heard that a deal of good Manners and Morality, might be learnt, in seeing Plays acted on the English Stage; I then flung away many a Half Crown at the Theatres in Bridges-Street, and Lincoln’s Inn Fields, but by the immoral, profane, and impious Expressions us’d in the dramatick Writings, whether tragical or comical, I could reckon the Play-Houses, no other than Schools of Iniquity, the Sinks of all Wickedness, and Markets for the Devil. ’Tis out of doubt, that even the Theatres of Greece and Rome, under Heathenism, were less obnoxious and offensive, yet nevertheless they stood condemn’d by the primitive Fathers, and general Councils.
The detestable lewd Expressions in the English Plays, can do no less than debauch the Minds, and corrupt the Manners of the Audience; but it must needs strike every good Christian with Horror, to hear on the Stage Almighty God blasphem’d, his Providence question’d and deny’d, his Name prophan’d, his Attributes ascrib’d to sinful Creatures, and even to heathen Gods, his holy Word burlesqu’d, and treated as a Fable, his Grace made a Jest of, his Ministers despis’d, Conscience laugh’d at, Religion ridicul’d, the Catholick Faith and Doctrine expos’d, the sincere Practice of Religion, represented as the Effect of Vapours and Melancholly, Virtue discountenanc’d, Vice encourag’d, Evil treated as Good, and Good as Evil; and all this highly aggravated, by being done in cool Blood, upon Choice and Deliberation.
The Infidelity and Loosness of the present Age, is very much owing to the Play-Houses, where the Infection of most abominable Wickedness, spreads among the Spectators, from the Lady in the Front or Side-Box, to the tawdry Chambermaid in upper Gallery. Men and Women who frequent the Theatre, are, instead of learning Virtue, surrounded with inordinate Temptations, which incite them to unlawful Desires and Actions, which soon end in the utter Ruin, both of Body and Soul. Where Lewdness is represented, in all the Dresses that can vitiate the Imagination, and fasten upon the Memory; and where Pride and Falshood, Malice and Revenge, Injustice and Immodesty, Contempt of Marriage, and false Notions of Honour are recommended, no Good can be learn’d, either by old or young; and this not among Mahometans and Infidels, not at Rome and Venice, not in France and Spain, but in a Protestant Country, and upon the English Stage, without any Fear that the Judgments of God will fall upon them. The Players exposing (as they pretend they do) Formality, Humour, and Pedantry, is not an equivalent for their insulting sacred Things, and their promoting to so high a Degree, the Prophaneness and Debauchery of the Nation.