Which made you ign’rant in the Lib’ral Arts;
And tho’ thou wert half Fool, and half a Knave,
Half Protestant, and yet to Rome a Slave,
Thy Doctrine serv’d this People very well,
Who here are damn’d, before they’re damn’d in Hell.
So farewel solid, monumental Brass,
Erected to commemorate an Ass.
But the high and mighty States being affronted at this Lampoon put upon their chief Priest, a Proclamation was issued forth, promising the Reward of 500 Guilders for apprehending the Author of it; whereupon I fled to Delph in the twinckling of a Bed-Staff. This is a pretty round compacted Town, about 2 Miles in Circumference, fortified with a strong Wall and Ditch, but after an old Fashion; and is the great Magazine and Armory of the Commonwealth, which is democratical, as I said before, for Monarchy they abhor as much as a Scotchman does Episcopacy, or a true bred Irishman paying Allegiance to a Protestant Prince.
From Delph I went to the Hague, the Metropolis of Holland, not for Trade, but for the States assembling at this Place, which is round compacted, and neatly built: It is neither Town nor City, but call’d a Village, as being unwall’d, and is reckon’d the biggest in the World. Within half a League of this Place lies interr’d in an Abby Margaret Countess of Henenberg, Sister to William, King of the Romans, and on her Tomb still remains an Epitaph, which mentions, that she brought forth as many Children at one Birth, as are Days in the Year. The Country has few Trees in it, because the Ground is so waterish and soft, that it is not able to bear the Weight of one; and for the same Reason a less Quantity of Fruit and Grain grows in it.
Their chiefest Fuel is Turf, of which they burn so much, that it may be very well thought the Dutch will burn up their own Land before the Day of Judgment They are so cumbred about the Affairs and Business of this World, that their Ignorance in Religion is unaccountable. The Theological Terms of Regeneration, Consubstantiality, Predestination, Justification, Sanctification, or hypostatical Union, are full as mysterious to them, as the intricate Hierogliphics of the antient Egyptians were to the Vulgar. ’Tis true, they nevertheless keep the Sabbath-Day very strict, for all the while that divine Service in their blind way holas, they do no manner of Work but wash in the open Streets, keep Shops almost open, angle, sing, play on the Musick, dance, drink, and whore; for as six Days are tiresome to be at hard Labour, their high Mightinesses allow the People one Day in seven to go to the Devil with Pleasure. In five, the Dutch are good for nothing but to be serv’d as a Sultan or Grand Seignior once advis’d a French King, which advice was to send an Army of Pioneers to dig up their Country, and throw all the Inhabitants at once into the Sea.