WHY NEAR RELATIONS SHOULD NOT INTERMARRY
is that, as the same general tendencies prevail in families, when the parents are nearly related they are very likely to have the same evil tendency, whatever that may be; and, therefore, there is a great probability that their children will also have the same, but more strongly developed, and, consequently, the difficulty of their overcoming it will be much increased.
How plainly, then, is it the duty of those about to marry, as well as of those who are married, to strive to their utmost, with God's help, to overcome disorderly habits of every kind; for, be assured, it is only by such means they can hope to be blessed with good and healthy children, and thereby contribute to their own happiness, and at the same time to the improvement of the race as subjects both of this world and of heaven.
As it is by no means certain that you will marry, and the time may come when it will no longer be convenient to your parents to support you, it will be good for you, keeping these contingencies in mind, to qualify yourself to earn your own maintenance by some honest industry. You will then have a right feeling of independence, and not be tempted to marry, as too many young women do, not from the true principle of sincere affection, but mainly for a living. They may thus obtain a competence, and jog on comfortably, but they have no right to expect that genuine happiness which I recommend you to aim at. When, too, you see so many left widows, with small families, and, as we say, totally unprovided for, you will become sensible of the soundness of the advice I am offering you. As the Lord's tender mercies are over all His works, it is evident, from what is occurring around us, that trouble and adversity are better suited to the state of some people, to prepare them for their eternal destination, than any amount of prosperity would be. The poor are no less His children than the rich, and he cares equally—that is, infinitely—for them all. It is certainly wise, then, to be prepared to meet adversity, should He suffer it to come upon you.
Again, suppose you should not have any suitable offer of marriage, such as you would feel it your duty to accept, you are not on that account to be disheartened, and fancy yourself overlooked by Providence.
Single life is evidently the best for some persons; they escape many troubles which perhaps they would find it very hard to bear. There are many ways in which single people can lead a useful life, and be
AS HAPPY AS THE DAY IS LONG.
No one that is actively useful can be unhappy. What do you see around you? Many, I admit, who are not so happy as we should like them to be; but in most cases, if we could fully investigate the matter, it would perhaps be found to have arisen from their thinking too much about themselves and not enough for others. But, on the other hand, it not infrequently happens, when a woman is left, and sees that the support and welfare of herself and children depend on her own exertions, she is enabled to so successfully put forth her energies and to employ her talents which, till she needed them, she hardly knew she possessed, as to surprise both herself and the most sanguine of her friends.
Now, it must be confessed that we are fallen creatures, and therefore prone to evil. We are consequently always in danger of going wrong and forming bad habits, but our Heavenly Father watches over us at all times and gives us power to “refuse the evil and choose the good.” We are, I know full well, too much inclined to yield to evil influences; still, as we always have divine aid if we implore it, I am not sure that, on the whole, it is not as easy to acquire good habits as bad ones. This much is certain, that whichever we acquire, they are likely to remain with us and are not easily to be got rid of.
Among the subjects deserving attention as affecting our happiness is one on which, perhaps, I am not entitled to say much. I refer to dress. Now, I hold it to be a duty for people to dress well—that is, according to their position, means, and age; and this not so much for their own sakes as for the sake of giving pleasure to others. It is, I admit, difficult to determine how much of one's income should be devoted to dress, but I think few will deny that at present dress occupies too much time, attention, and money. For my own part, I confess I am most affected by female dress, and although certainly I like to see women well dressed, and would rather see them a little too fine than slovenly, I am often pained at witnessing the extravagance and, to me, ridiculous taste exhibited. Whenever I see a handsome and expensive dress trailing in the dirt, I regard it as culpable waste and in bad taste, and when I see it accidentally trodden on I am not sorry. I am inclined to believe that many women can hardly find time or opportunity to perform any useful duty; they have quite as much as they, poor things, can do to take care of their dress. I also believe (and this is the serious point of the matter) that many a young man is deterred from soliciting a maiden in marriage by knowing that his means would not enable him to let her dress as he is accustomed to see her, and this is doubtless one of the many reasons why so many of both sexes remain unmarried. I hold, too, that whatever forms an obstacle to marriage has a tendency at the same time to obstruct the entrance to heaven.