To make short of my Story, he tarried with his Lady a full Fortnight, and in that Time got her Consent, and the Consent of her Parents, and returns Home to his Uncle with this joyful News, which extremely pleased the old Gentleman; but he took Care to tell the old Man, that, according to his own Words, he had found indeed that Courtship was chargeable, for that he had spent Eighteen-pence of the Half-crown he gave him, and, putting his Hand in his Pocket, he gave his Uncle the remaining Shilling. Well, Child, says the Uncle, I commend thy Prudence and Frugality, I find thou art to be trusted with Money and any Thing else, and therefore I will settle Five hundred a Year upon thee in Marriage; and giving him a good Sum of Money to buy him such Wedding-cloaths as he should best like, the Marriage was soon after solemnised to the Satisfaction both of Old and Young; they were a happy Pair, and the old Man, dying some Years after, left them the Remainder of his Estate, which made an Addition to their Happiness.
Politica. Truly, Madam, the young Gentleman was enough ingenious; had he been cross, and not pleased his Uncle's Humours, he would have been disinherited, though I must confess, it is hard to render ourselves ridiculous to a Degree of Folly, to please an old Humourist. But what is not sinful can never be shameful, and how unpleasant soever our Actions are in the Sight of Men, if they are otherwise in the Sight of God, it is no Matter: A good Estate and Virtue make a Man beautiful in any Garb. I believe I could conform myself to the Humours of the greatest Caprichio, were I afterwards to be as happy as the young Lady you have mentioned; we must all of us suffer some Way or other in our Pupillage: The Apprentice serves out his Time with Chearfulness, in Expectation of being his own Man at the seven Years End. Future Ease is a great Encouragement to present Labour. But I know many young Men and Women are ruined by the unaccountable Humours of their Parents and Governors, and take such wicked Courses, that they are seldom or never reclaimed, especially Women, who have once broken through the Bounds of Chastity. It is a common Proverb amongst the Men, that, Once a Whore and always a Whore. Though I have known this Proverb crossed; and, to level and make our Stories even as we would do Marriages, I shall give you an Account after what Manner:
A Country Gentleman, who was a Justice of the Peace in the County of R——, not having been in London in his Life, or at least, not for a long Time, being in Conversation with some of his Friends, heard them speak of the Practice of lewd Women, in picking Men up in the Streets. The Gentleman, being a Stranger to this abominable Practice, could not believe any Women could be so impudent, as they reported them to be; but they told him, he might experience the Contrary any Evening when he pleased. The Gentleman was resolved to make the Experiment, and one Evening in Fleetstreet he takes Notice of a very pretty Gentlewoman, which eyed him very narrowly, whereupon he asked her to drink a Glass of Wine; she agreed at the first Word, and went with him to the next Tavern.
When the Gentleman and his Doxy were seated in a Room, and had some Wine brought them, they drank very civilly one to the other; but Miss expected to be attacked, after another Sort of Manner than she found by the Gentleman: For he asked her, how long she had continued that Trade; she told him, as they all do, but a very short Time; then he continues, how can you dare to live in Rebellion both against the Laws of God and Man, and impudently pursue Methods to destroy both your Body, and your immortal Soul? In short, he read her such a Lecture, that she, not being hardened in Sin as are the Generality of those Miscreants, burst out into a Flood of Tears, and told him, that it was not without a wonderful Remorse of Conscience she followed that wicked Course of Life, and protested to him, that it was pure Necessity obliged her to it, for otherwise she could not get a Subsistence. The Gentleman asked her further, How she came first to be debauched? She told him her Father was a Country Gentleman, who had extravagantly spent a plentiful Estate, and then dying, left her to the wide World unprovided for: She thought London was the best Place to get her a Livelihood in, and thither she came, but very unfortunately fell into the Hands of a lewd Woman, who betrayed her to the Lust of a Gentleman, who was no more than once concerned with her, and then advised her to ply the Streets; and, that he himself was the first Person that ever had picked her up.
The Gentleman told her, it was hard to believe Persons who had been guilty of such heinous Crimes, and very heartily admonished her to forsake her evil Practices, to repent of what she had already done, and to amend her Life for the Future; she gave him many Thanks for his good Advice, and told him, she should think herself a very happy Person, if either he, or any one else, would put her in a Way to live otherwise; he told her, if she would resolve to amend for the Future, he would take Care to provide for her; she promised him, with all the Asseverations imaginable, that she would: Whereupon he told her, that she should meet him the next Day at a certain Time and Place; she coming according to Appointment, he put her into a Lodging he had provided, and being well assured of her Repentance and Sincerity, and finding her an accomplished Gentlewoman, soon after married her; and she made him a chaste and happy Wife, and he lived as happily with her, as if she had been possessed of a Portion of Thousands of Pounds.
Sophia. If I had here a Bottle of Wine, I would drink that Gentleman's Health; he, under God, saved the Body and Soul of that poor Creature, and made a Saint, by taking a Sinner to his Bed. I cannot chuse but reflect on our Discourse, how naturally we have fallen from the Discourse of Matrimony, to Love Stories; we have talked away the Time, as Children cry themselves asleep. But we must be gone, the Sun is just down, and we shall be wanted at Supper.
Transcriber's Note: This extract and the Mundus Foppensis were both included in a book published by the Augustan Reprint Society in 1992, with the title cover as shown below. There are a number of words spelt differently from spelling used today. Some words have been changed. They are japan to Japan, Sweet-meets to Sweet-meats, sollicit to solicit, and hugy to hugely.
THE
Harleian Miscellany:
OR, A