“As I think of it now, I wonder why I did not always adhere to my first impression of him, which presented itself so forcibly. It must have been fate, I guess. He was not at all handsome; he, in fact, was homely, especially his mouth, which was too coarse, yet when he spoke his countenance lighted up and there was an earnestness about him that partially restored my confidence. He had a fine physique, a large, brainy head, and carried himself with dignity. Well, we drifted into the discussion of literature, and I found this was a well chosen subject, for we were both deeply interested in it.
“After visiting an hour or more with him, I decided to wait no longer for the man I had called to see, and I left. Not long after this my friend called at the same suite of offices and she met Mr. Ferris. She seemed very favorably impressed with him, so much so that she asked him to call, and I must say that in spite of my prejudice I enjoyed the evening. He called often after that and my friend said that he was in love with me. I did not believe it at the time, probably because I was so utterly indifferent to him at that time. He interested me greatly, however, for many reasons, not least among which was the fact that he was in touch with the business world and I thought I saw possibilities through him.
“It was not a month after this that he proposed to me. We were sitting on the couch together, and I had been telling him of the unexpected visit of a little friend of mine from Buffalo. He suddenly took my hand in his and said, ‘Claire, I want you, and before anyone comes into this home to rob me of you, I want your promise to be mine, all mine.’
“I felt within myself that he had endeared himself to me considerably, but did not feel at all sure that I wanted to marry him, and told him so, so we left the matter in that way, although I accepted his ring, but it was with the understanding that if in the course of a few months I wished to retract, I was at liberty to do so.
“On the following Wednesday Gretta came. Dear little Gretta. Pretty, petite and winsome, so sweet yet so frivolous.
“I introduced Mr. Ferris to her and they soon became good friends; no one could help being nice to her. I was slightly indisposed at this time and was very glad that Ned could take her out, for it relieved me of the burden of entertaining her, for a burden it was, in my present condition.
“One night, while I was confined to my room, she came to me and told me that she loved Ned, and that she believed he loved her, for he had kissed her and called her his dear little girl.
“As if by magic, the demon of jealousy reared his head and began to sting me. I loved him now, I knew it, for I was unmistakably jealous. I was jealous of a pretty, voluptuous, little doll, with no thought beyond her present gratification, be it a new gown or a dinner, both of which she enjoyed with all the fervor of her nature. They had not one thing in common, unless it was their passionate natures. I tried to reason with myself, to assure myself of the fact that a man of his calibre could not really love so frivolous a creature as she; that it was merely a passing fancy. But having been married, I knew a man’s nature so well, knew how often a magnetic personality lured them on to mistakes fatal to the happiness of both, that my theory of incompatibility was not altogether a consolation.
“During this period of uneasiness, I did not mention the matter to him. I was too proud to mention it to him, and felt it would be beneath my dignity to admit that I had a possible rival in one so shallow. Perhaps that is where I made my mistake; I don’t know.
“I tried to lull my suspicions to rest, but they would none of it, and one night after they had gone to the theater I dragged myself wearily down stairs to the library, which was off the parlor and separated from it by heavy portieres. I became tired of reading at last and turned out the gas and laid down determined to await their return and be convinced that my suspicions were groundless, if possible; at least I wanted to hear how he made love to her and decide for myself whether he meant it or not.