“Here, and you have lived here ever since?”
“No, at least not all of the time; after a few days of sobbing, longing for the old life and for Jamie returned to me. Then the horrible fact that I could never return to Jamie confronted me. Oh, what was I to do? With nothing in view and no aim in life, I returned to my aunt’s home only to be told that I could get out and ‘shift for myself.’ ‘This ain’t no home for no good for nuthin’ strumpet like you; clear out, I say! You ungrateful hussy.’
“If you will excuse me I will not detail to you the feelings of pain which I endured as stings from her lash. It is quite enough to be compelled to live through such periods without being called upon to recite them in after years.
“From there I went to the home of the friend in whose house I had met Mr. Winslow, then with that feeling of trust and confidence, I told her all; she blandly stated that she was sorry, but that I should have known better. Oh! that bitter sting, and from this woman, who could have taken me in her arms and heard my sobs, that act alone, I think, would have consoled me some; but no; she who could have replaced me upon the pedestal from which all women shine, said, ‘Well, run along now, I must dress for Mrs. ⸺’s reception. Maybe some day I will talk it all over with you.’
“‘But, oh, please hear me! just a little. Help me,’ I begged.
“‘I will see; I heard of some one who wanted a good girl, and I will try to find out, for you see, Lillian, you could do housework.’
“Bah! ruined, turned into the street, scorned, too miserable to live, afraid to die.
“I was not too good, nor too proud to work, but that was not what my heart yearned for; pity, love, sympathy, a kind look, a gentle touch would have done much to heal my troubled mind. I came back to Chicago. I went to Mr. Winslow’s cousin; she told me the cold, hard, cruel truth. I had been enticed to the city for the one purpose of gratifying the amorous desire of Mr. Winslow. The truth had long ago forced itself upon me, but the confession by the woman who had assisted in the plot made me desperate.