The comical and mortifying Transmigration of little Monsieur Fribble into the Body of a Monkey.
After we had taken our leave of Master Churl, we were conducted into the apartment of Mr. Pug, a chattering young monkey, who, as soon as he saw us whipt his little hat under his arm in a crack, and seating himself upon his backside, welcomed each of us into the room by several ceremonious nods, which were intended to supply the place of a bow, and were accompanied by such a noisy affected grin, that it was impossible for us to forbear laughing—"This contemptible animal, said Mr. Wiseman, is inhabited by the little soul of the late Master Billy Fribble, a young gentleman of French extraction, whose friends came and settled in the country about fifty years ago. His play fellows dignified him with the humorous title of the little Monsieur, not so much on account of his diminutive stature, as for that trifling and finical behaviour which distinguishes the least respectable, though, by many thoughtless persons, the most admired part of the French nation. As neither his bodily nor mental faculties were very vigorous, his childhood was remarkable only for a certain effeminate vivacity, which continually displayed itself in such a noisy and insignificant prattling, as was very tiresome and disagreeable to every body in the house. When he grew older, he added to his former loquacity the most passionate fondness for fine clothes; so that in the twelfth year of his age, he became as complete a top as ever eyes beheld. He wore upon his head a macaroni hat about the size of a small tea saucer; his coat, which scarcely had any skirts to it, was of the most glaring colour he could fix upon; and his hair, which was plaistered over with powder and pomatum, was tied behind in a large club, which hung swagging upon his shoulders like a soldier's knapsack. Thus elegantly dressed, he strutted along the streets with a large stick in his hand about a foot taller than himself, and a small cutteau de chasse by his side, which he could handle with as much dexterity as his pen; an instrument in the use of which he had made such a contemptible proficiency, that it required as much acuteness to discover the meaning of his aukward scrawl, as to explain the hieroglyphick characters of the ancient Egyptians. What still increased the obscurity of every thing which Monsieur Fribble undertook the trouble of penning, was that, excepting when he wrote his own name, he had a method of spelling which was peculiar to himself. He was equally famous for his skill in the useful science of numbers; for though, during the space of seven or eight years, he devoted to it a considerable part of that lingering time which he was forced to spare from his private diversions in school hours, the sum total of his improvement was, that he was scarcely capable of casting up the contents of a shoemaker's little bill. His highest ambition was, in the first place, to furnish himself with a large collection of complimentary phrases, which he had seldom discretion enough to apply with any tolerable propriety; and, in the next, to complete himself in the polite art of dancing, in which he so far succeeded as to be able to skip about with the most regular agility, though he never had a sufficient share of good sense to be able to dance with gracefulness. Thus accomplished, he excited the admiration of every silly coquette, and the envy of every fluttering coxcomb; but by all young gentlemen and ladies of understanding he was heartily despised as a mere civilized monkey. He performed every thing by imitation; and he imitated nothing (unless he was forcibly compelled to it) by which a rational being may be distinguished from a brute animal. But the species of imitation in which he most delighted, was that which, in the vulgar style, is called mocking; for he was not possessed of a sufficient stock of ingenuity to be (what he very frequently attempted to be) a clever mimick. If any of his schoolmates happened to be afflicted with an impediment in their speech, an accidental lameness, or the like; he had the mean barbarity to endeavour to aggravate the misfortune by a coarse imitation, which generally turned the whole ridicule upon himself.
He once had the impudence to practise his mockery upon a worthy gentlemen in the neighbourhood, who was so unfortunate as to be unable to speak without stuttering. The gentleman happening to pass by Mr. Fribble's door, at which our little monsieur was then standing with a magpie in his hand." "Bi-bi-bill, said the good man (after inquiring very civilly how he did) has that pretty ma-ma-mag learned to ta-ta-talk?" "Ye-ye-yes, replied the saucy fop, be-be-better than you do, or else I would wring his head off." "This rude and impertinent answer, which at first excited the laughter of some of the by-standers, soon gave them a very mean opinion of him, and he was afterwards despised by every sensible person, as a mischievous, unthinking coxcomb. What aggravated his punishment was, that he had so frequently indulged himself in the ungenerous and silly practice of mocking the imperfect pronunciation of others, that at last he himself contracted such a habit of stuttering as he could never leave off. This gave such a poor recommendation to the nonsensical things he was continually saying, that he became the object of ten times the ridicule which he had endeavoured to inflict upon those who had a natural impediment. What was pitied in them as a misfortune, was despised in him as an ill-acquired and consequently a vicious imperfection; and therefore every one was willing to increase the mortifying smart of it, and keep alive the conscious shame he felt of wearing a fool's cap which was entirely of his own making. This vexatious, and in some degree, vindictive ridicule to which he was daily exposed, and which, in time, he might have softened and disarmed by an humble and penitent deportment, gave such an insupportable wound to his foolish pride, that he soon absconded from company, and died of a broken heart. That his soul might afterwards occupy such a station as would be most suitable to his character, it was sentenced to inhabit the body of that finical, grinning, and mischievous little mimick with four legs, which you now behold before you." As soon as the Bramin had finished his story, poor pug (who seemed to retain all the little pride of Monsieur Fribble) grinned, chattered, and skipped about with a ridiculous resentment which was mingled with evident marks of fear; until at last, having agitated himself into a perfect passion, he made a hasty spring at his keeper, which, to his own abashment, and the laughter of my young companions, was as suddenly checked by a small chain that secured him to the floor.
CHAP. VI.
The dismal Transmigration of Master Tommy Filch into the Body of a Wolf.
As soon as we had lifted up the latch to enter into the next apartment, we were immediately alarmed by a horrid howling; which upon opening the door we discovered to be the savage musick of a lusty young wolf, who looked as fierce as if he would have torn every one of us to pieces. But a strong chain confined his fury to one corner of the room; so that we could venture pretty near him without any danger of feeling the strength of his jaws. "This plundering and voracious animal, said the Bramin, who has been accustomed to gratify his appetite at the expense of all the farmers in the neighbourhood, is inhabited by the soul of the late Master Filch, who, as you will find by the sequel of the story, is now placed in a station which is perfectly suitable to his character. His very infancy was disgraced by a natural propensity to fraud and rapine; for as soon as he could talk plain enough to be understood, the chief employment of his tongue was to tell as many stories as his little head was capable of inventing; and that his hands might come in for their share of mischief, he never failed to make a property of all the sugar, fruit, tarts, &c. which the carelessness of the servants had left within his reach. If his parents had been wise enough to chastise him for his little roguery, they might have nipped it in the bud; but they were so imprudently fond, that they not only neglected to administer the discipline of the rod, but made his falsehood and pilferings the constant subject of their merriment. They considered his faults as trivial, because they were the faults of a child; not reflecting that if the seeds of vice are suffered to grow, they will in a shorter time than is commonly imagined, take such deep root in the heart, that it will be scarcely possible to eradicate them. Experience, however, soon undeceived them; for when little Filch was eight or nine years old, though he had plenty of fruit at home, they had the mortification to be informed that he was making daily incursions into every poor man's garden in the neighbourhood. The consequence of these repeated complaints was sometimes a severe reprimand, and sometimes as severe a flogging; but neither the one nor the other were able to produce a reformation, though it is very probable, that if they had been applied in time, they might have been applied to better purpose. From robbing orchards he soon proceeded to the raising private contributions on his school fellows. Sometimes he defrauded them at play: sometimes he picked their pockets; and very frequently he stole their books, or money, out of their desks and boxes: and, as it is the study of every wicked boy to maintain the appearance of honesty as long as he is able, as soon as the robbery was discovered he was the first person to exclaim against it, which he did in the bitterest terms, and to prevent a long and circumstantial inquiry after the author of it (which he suspected would not terminate in his favour) he impudently pretended to have been an eye witness of the fact, and then boldly charged it upon one or another of his school mates, who he knew had neither skill nor spirit enough to contradict his evidence in a satisfactory manner. By this means the bashful innocent was frequently punished instead of the guilty. But as bad boys are seldom able to conceal their faults long from the eye of justice, young Filch was soon detected in his wickedness, and being considered as a dangerous person, whose bad example might have a pernicious effect upon his play fellows, he was first corrected with all the severity he deserved, and then sent home to his parents. In this disgraceful manner he was dismissed from every school in the country, 'till at last, though he was only thirteen years old, there was not a single academy into which he could be admitted upon any terms whatever. But this was not the worst effect of the ill character he had acquired: for as no one is willing to introduce a lad of bad reputation into his house, there was not a tradesman of any credit to be found who would venture to take him as an apprentice, though a large premium was offered for that purpose. His parents, therefore, were under the disagreeable necessity of keeping him at home; but having little or nothing for him to do, he soon fell into bad company, who in as short a time gave him a perfect relish for the scandalous and expensive amusement of gaming and tippling. His finances, though sufficiently plentiful for a youth of his age, were by these destructive means so much encumbered with little debts, that to maintain a worthless credit among his worthless companions, he formed the wicked resolution of taking money from his father and mother without their knowledge. The
