“Won’t one do for both of you?”
Pat answered—“No, one won’t; if he can’t eat one, I can!”
“Why did you leave your last place?” the housekeeper asked of the new would-be cook.
“To tell the truth, mum, I just couldn’t stand the way the master an’ the missus used to quarrel, mum.”
“Dear me! Do you mean to say that they actually used to quarrel?”
“Yis, mum, all the time. When it wasn’t me an’ him, it was me and her.”
A gentleman was put out of patience by some blunder of Paddy, his new groom.