An amusing story of amateur sport comes from Rockville, Maryland, where each year there is held a series of races “for all comers.”
The sun was blazing on a field of hot, excited horses and men, all waiting for a tall raw-boned beast to yield to the importunities of the starter and get into line.
The patience of the starter was nearly exhausted. “Bring up that horse!” he shouted. “Bring him up! You’ll get into trouble pretty soon if you don’t!”
The rider of the refractory beast, a youthful Irishman, yelled back: “I can’t help it. This here’s been a cab horse, and he won’t start till the door shuts, an’ I ain’t got no door!”
GENUINE IRISH RETORT.
At the Criminal Court, a few days since, a learned gentleman, dissatisfied at his success with an Irish witness, complained to the court. Paddy exclaimed, “I’m no lawyer, yer honor, and he wants to puzzle me.”
Counsel—“Come, now, do you swear you are no lawyer?”
Witness—“Faith, an’ I do; and you may swear the same thing about yourself, without fear of being liable for perjury.”