“I dreamt that angels carried me up to heaven.”
“You’re right,” chimed Mike. “I saw you going up and thought you would never come back, so I got up, cooked the fowls and ate them.”
IN IRELAND.
“We never needed any of them new-fangled scales in Ireland,” said O’Hara. “There’s an aisy way to weigh a pig without scales. You get a plank and put it across a stool. Then you get a big stone. Put the pig on one end of the plank and the stone on the other end, and shift the plank until they balance. Then you guess the weight of the stone and you have the weight of the pig.”
The Irishman announced that he was about to be married.
“Married!” exclaimed his friend. “An old man like you?”
“Well, you see,” the old man explained, “it’s just because I’m getting an ould bhoy now. ’Tis a foine thing, Pat, to have a wife near ye to close the eyes of ye when ye come to the end.”