Pat—“An’ what did your ould woman say whin ye come in at three o’clock this mornin’?”
Mike—“Sure, the darlin’ soul never said a worrud. An I was goin’ to have thim two front teeth pulled out anyway.”
Pat (going to battle): Why are you carrying that comb?
Mike: Sur’in fate, ’tis the easiest one to part with.
Mrs. Murphy:—“Did yez hear of the awful fright Harry got on his weddin’ day?”
Her Husband:—“Shure, and don’t Oi know it, wasn’t Oi there—and didn’t Oi see her.”