But if you have reason to believe that any one’s pretended love is nothing more than mere fancy, which will generally shew itself by a vehement fondness; vows, promises, &c. learn to treat it with a silent neglect; for his utmost wishes will never promote your real happiness.
9. Be not anxious to be admired by every one, but only be careful that the virtuous have no occasion to speak evil against you; to avoid which you have only to live a virtuous life.
Keep a due regard over all your words and actions; not only when you are with those whom you esteem to be virtuous, but even if you should happen to fall in company with those of the baser sort.
It hath been an old maxim, that when we are with the Romans, we must do as the Romans do. And the maxim may be a good one, so far as we can comply with it, and not break over the rules of decency and propriety; but no farther. For it is no rule, neither will it be any excuse for you, to be loose, vain, or lascivious, even if you should happen to fall in company with persons of this description. But the wiser method is, to avoid all such company; for the characters of persons are often judged by the company they keep. Therefore, if you would wish to avoid the reproaches of every one, you must not only abstain from vice yourself, but you must forsake the company of the vicious.
10. Do not reveal your secrets to any one, unless it will be as much for their interest to keep, as it will be for yours to have them kept; and never reveal the secrets of others, when it will not injure you to keep them.
Never make any promise that you do not mean to perform; and fulfil all your promises when you have once made them; unless you find that you were deceived when you made them, and therefore ought not to have promised.
Never speak of the failings of another to a third person, but with the greatest reluctance, especially those of your own sex. If you can say no good of persons, you had better say nothing about them. For as you would not wish to have your own failings published to the world, so you must be exceeding careful not to publish the failings of others.
But should you discover a failing in your friend, you may, and ought to remind him or her of it, between you and them alone, but do it with the greatest modesty. And if your friends should tell you of a fault, take it kindly of them and endeavor to reform.
Never appear to slight the company of any one, while in their presence, even if it should be disagreeable; but rather endeavor to find some just occasion of absence, and avoid their company for the future.
Treat every one with civility, but use no flattery nor dissimulation to any one; but let the words of your mouth be the sentiments of your heart.